“What Pegman saw” is a weekly challenge based on Google Streetview. You can read the rules here. You can find today’s location on this page, from where you can also get the Inlinkz code. This week’s location is Menorca, Spain
Image by Matt Gribbon from Pixabay
A wish granted
The black horse struts downhill, groomed sleek and with scarlet ribbons plaited through his mane and tail for the festival. Marc, one of the caixers, rides him like a king, tall and stern-faced. His black hair is trimmed short like a warrior, and his eyes are dark and commanding. Every few metres he makes the horse rear and people scurry beneath to touch its heart for good luck.
I watch how Marc controls the horse, and my heart yearns for him.
The horse rises, and I step forward, reaching for the beast’s heart. I touch it! Perhaps my dream will come true!
I sprint down the street to the town square, and greet Marc when he arrives.
“Alejandro!” he says.
“May I squire for you in the jousting tomorrow?”
He frowns.
“I have my brother…” he says, and then smiles. “I’m sure we can find something for you to do!”
Autumn Leaves 
I love this. You can feel the yearning. Present tense is really effective here. Good job.
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Dear Josh
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, I rarely use present tense or first person pov, but here I felt that they emphasize the youth and adolescent longing of the narrator. Thank you for confirming they were effective!
With very best wishes
Penny
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I agree with Josh – very effective choices, Penny. I fear there may be trouble ahead for our young Alejandro, though. Lovely, passionate writing and you captured that naivety of first love well
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Dear Lynn
Thank you for reading and for your kind comments. You are absolutely right that I had in mind that Alejandro may have trouble ahead. I would be fascinated to know what triggered the thought in your mind, to see whether it was the hint I wrote into the story, or whether it was something less intentional! You’re very kind about the passion in the writing; I summoned up some emotional energy to feel like Alejandro before writing.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Perhaps it’s the passion itself that hints at trouble. Alejandro is rushing into a situation where he’ll be at close quarters with his friend and I suspect he won’t be able to control how he feels. Dangerous to wear your heart in your sleeve when you don’t know how the recipient of your affection feels. Beautiful writing, Penny
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Dear Lynn
Thank you for your further comment – it’s very kind of you to respond to my question. Yes, I quite see what you’re saying there; wearing your heart on your sleeve gives the object of your affections a lot of power over you.
With very best wishes
Penny
PS I really like your new profile pic!
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I remember being that heart on the sleeve person when I was a teen – it often does not go well. And thank you – the new pic was just a selfie but it’ll do for now 🙂
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I had the same response as Lynn, that young Alejandro may be in over his head. The line that made me think that was, “my heart yearns for him,” combined with the impression that Alejandro is young and inexperienced, and Marc is already in his prime, and seems talented, handsome, and popular.
I don’t remember ever hearing about a tradition of touching a horse’s heart for luck, much less getting under a rearing horse to do so. How interesting!
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Dear Joy
Thank you for reading and commenting so thoughtfully. I found the tradition of running under the rearing horse to touch its heart in Wikipedia under Menorca, in the paragraph on traditional celebrations.
“My heart yearns for him,” certainly speaks of Alejandro’s infatuation, and you are spot-on to identify the discrepancies of age and maturity. What I hoped would ring warning bells was the juxtaposition, in the same sentence, of “control” and “my heart yearns for him”, especially as Alejandro also describes Marc as being like a king, with commanding eyes. It’s a suggestion that Alejandro may fall into a relationship where he is controlled.
Many thanks for spending the time to read carefully and analytically. Feedback like that is very helpful!
With very best wishes
Penny
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Yes indeed, all of that came across very well, I’d say. Great job!
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Dear Joy
Thank you! You’re very kind!
With best wishes
Penny
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