Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story, based on a photoprompt, with a beginning, middle and end, in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and include the Photoprompt and Inlinkz (the blue frog) on your page. Link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!
PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll
Genre: Horror
Word count: 99
Witness
“Now, Billy, tell the officer what you saw.”
“The room was dark. There were just some flickering candles. There was a man chanting, and another one drawing something on the floor around a big table.
I saw a woman lying on the table. The man who’d been drawing picked up a knife.”
The boy licked his dry lips.
“I was scared. I ran. I’d just got outside when…”
Billy swallowed hard.
“Yes?”
“There was an enormous flash of lightning.”
“Sonny, there was no storm.”
A fireman strode up. His face was white.
“Officer. We’ve found something in the basement.”
Horrorqueen Penny!!!! And, you just leave us with this end?????
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Dear Anie
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, that’s the end! What do you think the firefighter found?
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Oh Penny, my imagination is very blocked in cruel things … I have no idea!
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Your story has left me no peace. So the firefighter found remains of fire accelerators in the basement. The boy laid the fire, he invented the story. The fireman is shocked at the boy’s bold lie and desperate because he has a boy of the same age.
It is, as others have noted here, words that influence our thoughts and guide them in one direction. Depending on who the words come from, we accept them without any skepticism. Dangerous and lazy to form your own opinion.
Since I find it hard to think of bad things anyway, I have chosen a different path, which is not necessarily less bad, but fits quite well with the situation … I think.
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Dear Anie
I’m so sorry to have robbed you of peace. Your version of the ending is very plausible, and well thought out. You are much to be praised for adopting a sceptical approach to what you read!
It’s lovely to know somebody who finds it hard to think of bad things – most of us are only too quick to imagine the worst.
With very best wishes
Penny
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thanks Penny. I’m not really very skeptical. This is a mistake and I have to train my skepticism a bit, but it also allows me to go through life more “fleet-footed”.
I certainly have a lot of imagination and the creativity can also be a bit “biting” when I’m upset, but the absolute horror so far does not haunt me …; )
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I wonder how a little kid got into a room where a human sacrifice was being performed? More story?
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Dear James
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Never underestimate the places that can be reached by a highly motivated twelve-year-old boy! With best wishes
Penny
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Bet he stops being so curious after this, Penny.
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I dread to think what he saw…
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Dear Iain
Thank you for reading and commenting. Whatever it was it chilled the firefighter…
With best wishes
Penny
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As open ends go, this a beauty! I wonder…
Click to read my FriFic!
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Dear Keith
Thank you for reading and commenting.
You may be amused to hear that I was less concerned with evoking horror in the basement, than with establishing the credibility of my young witness!
With best wishes
Penny
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Almost more gory because you didn’t describe a single horrifying detail – my imagination is running riot! That poor, paled fireman. Horror done the best way – with hints rather than splatter. Really great writing
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Dear Lynn
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, show them the knife and let them imagine the blood!
With very best wishes
Penny
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It worked wonderfully, Penny
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This is horrible! There just had to be a basement, didn’t there? The devil is in the details, the pale face, the dry lips, the sidelong glances. Very good build up of tension.
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Dear Jane
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed the build-up of tension.
With best wishes
Penny
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🙂
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Oh no! Now that’s what I call a cliff hanger!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Dear Susan
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you feel that it’s a cliff-hanger!
With best wishes
Penny
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What a horrifying sight the fireman must have encountered! Your mention of the dry lips and the white face made the story so vivid. The lightning strike without a storm added to the horror and intrigue. Nicely done.
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Dear Magarisa
Thank you for reading and commenting. The lightning strike was originally just going to be something that started the fire, but then I wondered why it would strike between two much taller buildings…
With best wishes
Penny
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That was one bad young boy. Good story
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Dear Bryan
Thank you for reading and commenting. I think the boy was very curious rather than bad – and I suspect the experience that night probably cured his curiosity!
All the best
Penny
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Dear Penny,
Can’t wait to not see what’s in the basement. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
Thank you for reading and commenting.
I love the way you phrase your comment! Gave me a chuckle!
Shalom shalom
Penny
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Nicely set up and the open ending lends to the horror.
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Dear Sandra
Thank you for reading and the kind words of your comment. I’m glad the open ending worked; thanks for letting me know.
With best wishes
Penny
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Oh no, something too bad is going on in that building. The tension build up was great Penny.
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Dear Norma
Thank you for reading and commenting. I fear you’re right. I certainly wouldn’t want to visit the basement!
With best wishes
Penny
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Wow! If a fireman’s face is white, I don’t want to see what he discovered.
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they will not rest Penny! Now you have to continue to spin your horror scenario … everyone wants to know what the poor fireman encounters there!
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Thank you, Anie! Perhaps I will…
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Dear Susie
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m sorry for my late response. You’re right – if a fireman is shocked, after the things he must have seen in his career, it’s got to be bad…
All the best
Penny
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great, I think there is a cyberroom of the boy..virtuel reality, and the whole szenario over long time well planned!
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Very intense story, so much left to our imagination. Nicely done.
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Dear Snow
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you felt it was an intense story. Imaginary terrors are the worst aren’t they?
With best wishes
Penny
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Imagination is a big gift and and a loyal friend. But it can also become your biggest enemy if it turns against you!
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Chilling and tense. Wow!
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Dear Karen
Thank you for reading and commenting. Praise from you is praise indeed!
With best wishes
Penny
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Wow Penny that is a very nice thing to say. You make me blush. The feeling is mutual.
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Thanks for showing yet again as to how it’s done.
Great writing.
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Dear Moon
Thank you for reading and commenting. You’re very kind to praise the story so much, but I’m all too aware of how much I need to grow as a writer to reach a professional standard.
With best wishes
Penny
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Oh, horrors. All sorts of evil crowd the imagination!
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Dear Linda
Thank you for reading and commenting.
“All sorts of evil crowd the imagination.” Yes, I’m afraid they do, which is one reason why I normally shun the horror genre, both writing and reading.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Frighteningly good. What a cliff hanger.
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Dear Irene
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed the cliff hanger.
All the best
Penny
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Ooooooooo this is great, so mysterious! What happened next?
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Dear Laurie
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you found it mysterious. Of course, the essence of mystery is not knowing…!
With best wishes
Penny
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Ooh! This is scary! This begs for a continuance 😊
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Dear Vivian
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you thought it was scary. You know, if you imagine horrors under your bed, you should never look just in case they’re true… 😉
With best wishes
Penny 😉
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😂😂
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This was a new way to do flash fiction 🙂 … I think it was a new way to write Frankenstein… but that’s me.
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Dear Bjorn
Thank you very much for reading my story, and for your very intriguing comment. I’d love to know more exactly what you mean by ‘a new way to do flash fiction’! If you have a moment, do you think you could tell me? – I’d be really grateful.
With best wishes
Penny 🙂
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Ha.. just though about the fact that you actually included a flash in your story… so maybe it’s flash flash fiction.
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That never occurred to me! Nice one, Bjorn!
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If this was part of Buffy Vampire Slayer I’d say Buffy just went to Hell.
So… more?
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Dear Alice
Thank you for reading and commenting.
I’m very conflicted about writing more for this story. I don’t read horror, or watch it, so it was rather strange that I decided to write a story in the genre. It just seemed to fit the prompt so well.
With best wishes
Penny
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‘Sonny there was no storm’ – how I love that. Very scary and like the open ending very much.
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yes, that is very scary and makes an impression on something supernatural. Something discharges without a thunderstorm or warning.
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Dear Rachel
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you liked ‘Sonny there was no storm’ – that was one of my favourite lines too!
All the best
Penny
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Oh, oh. A cliffhanger. I wonder what they found. You rock the subtle horror genre.
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Dear Lavanya
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed the story!
All the best
Penny
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I like the way you constructed this tale, Penny. Brilliant set-up and left us with our mouth open craving more. Five stars.
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Dear Russell
Thank you for reading and for your lovely comment. I’m so glad you enjoyed the set-up, because I worked quite hard on it!
With very best wishes
Penny
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Great cliff-hanger! I hate to think what the firefighter found in the basement!
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Dear Clare
Thank you for reading and commenting. Whatever he saw, I don’t particularly want to encounter it!
All the best
Penny
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Dear Clare, If a fireman is white-faced, it must be horrific. The lightening startled me and added to the suspense. Wonderful!
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Since this is in the horror genre anything is possible. It sounds like devil worship gone wrong. Good writing, Penny. 😦 — Suzanne
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Dear Suzanne
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, devil worship gone wrong certainly sounds possible.
With best wishes
Penny
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Nicely chilling. A great opening pulling the reading in and leaving them wanting more…
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Dear Sarah
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you were left wanting more!
All the best
Penny
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A suspenseful cliffhanger! I am most curious about the flash of lightning – was the boy spinning a yarn or was it something supernatural? I cannot help but think aliens come to save the woman on the table! You have certainly managed to pique our interest Penny 🙂
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Dear Dahlia
Thank you for reading and commenting. Now, the flash of lightning. As you know, I feel that readers are entitled to interpret my stories as they choose, so the flash could be natural, supernatural or the boy could be spinning a yarn. But I would say that the building has been on fire, and the fire must have started somehow…
I guess an alien spaceship could start a fire, too…
I love your creative response to my story!
With best wishes
Penny
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Leaves you wondering what they found – a good story ending!
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