“What Pegman saw” is a weekly challenge based on Google Streetview. Using the location provided, you must write a piece of flash fiction of no more than 150 words. You can read the rules here. You can find today’s location on this page, from where you can also get the Inlinkz code. This week’s prompt is New Orleans, Louisiana.
Lafayette Cemetery, New Orleans, Louisiana | Save Our Cemeteris Jean Mensa Google Maps
Payback time
She was skinny, dirty, and bruised and obstructed his passage through the cemetery. Clark tried to walk past her but, without seeming to move, she still blocked his path. Clark swiped, casually, to knock her out of the way but his blow hit nothing.
He looked more closely; she seemed familiar.
“I was the first,” she murmured, so quietly that he could scarcely hear.
Another girl, perhaps fourteen years old, stepped out bringing the stench of decay. Clark gasped. He’d left this one in a garbage dumpster.
“You sold my body for sex and then you murdered me.” She whispered the words.
Fire crackled ahead of him, fierce and orange.
He bolted from it, but the flames were faster. All around him children stared, accusing; judging.
When his screams eventually stopped, his corpse lay between the tombs, contorted but unburned. The children sighed in unison – and gently turned to mist.
Very creepy tale in time for Halloween, there Penny! Love the tension you build, the gradual realisation that he can’t escape and that his crimes have caught up with him. Chilliing
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Dear Lynn
Thank you for reading and for your kind comments. I don’t often write horror so I’m pleased you like the story!
With very best wishes
Penny
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It worked very well, Penny – very atmospheric and sinister. You build tension so well through it and the premise is very moving. I could see it longer too.
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very well done and I read your comment to Lynn – about how you do not write horror and you know Penny, this felt like classy horror – or not even horror – it was spooky and unnerving and more like a thrill as the moral here is revenge might happen naturally – he was reaping what he sowed – well that is my take
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Dear Yvette
Thank you for reading and for your very kind comments. He was indeed reaping what he had sown.
Your observation that this makes the horror less is very perceptive, and I think you’re absolutely right. I’ll have to remember that next time I try my hand at the genre!
With very best wishes
Penny
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;0)
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Brilliantly done, Penny! The kind of horror I can get into (Most times I’m a scaredy cat!)
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Dear Dale
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m delighted you enjoyed it, and weren’t too horror-fied!
With very best wishes
Penny
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😱😜😉
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Payback’s a bitch! This is a great ghost story and a great revenge story all in one.
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Dear Josh
Thank you for reading and for your nice comments. I’m glad you thought that both the ghostly and the revenge elements were successful.
With very best wishes
Penny
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I love the last line. Somehow it reminds me of The Hound of the Baskervilles. A delightfully creepy story.
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Dear Lish
Thank you for reading and For your kind comment. How fascinating that the last line should remind you of The Hound of the Baskervilles – I live right on the edge of Dartmoor where that story was set!
With very best wishes
Penny
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Justice, albeit in a surreal, haunting way. Great piece.
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Dear Nitin
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, justice was done. Clark was a very nasty piece of work indeed.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Frightened to death! I thought perhaps he was already in hell, but what a spooky end to a human trafficker. Perhaps this could be the first of a series of tales, something like Dantes inferno, where you describe a fitting damnation for practitioners of todays wickedry. 😈. I like the sense of relief in the last sentence.
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Dear Andi
Thank you for reading and commenting. The inspiration for this story was the scene in ‘Don Giovanni’ when the Commendatore appears from a tomb and drags Don Giovanni down to hell. Added to the mix was a news report about a gang of men who had groomed and exploited large numbers of vulnerable children over many years. That really does seem to me to be one of the worst of crimes, even worse than most murders.
With very best wishes
Penny
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One of my favorite scenes from the movie Amadeus! Must see the opera someday. You cannot say modern life lacks drama.
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Dear Andi
Yes, do go to see the opera! It’s entertaining as well as frightening at the end. It’s also rather profound in what it says about humanity.
xx
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What a great ghost story, and I love the twist — instead of the evil ghost coming to terrorize the innocent, it’s nice to see the guilty get what they deserve!
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Dear Joy
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, I wanted the guilty to suffer like those he abused!
With very best wishes
Penny
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Great Halloween tale. Sometimes, nothing is quite as satisfying as just revenge.
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Dear Karen
Thank you for reading and commenting. You warned us that Pegman would focus on spooky locations for a few weeks, so I’ve been taking you seriously! So far it’s taken me into two genres that I’ve not really explored before. It’s fun, and is stretching my range, so thank you for the great prompts!
With very best wishes
Penny
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Clark the child molester met his fate.
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Dear Abhijit
Thank you for reading and commenting. Clark certainly met his fate – and a very unpleasant and well-deserved fate it was too.
With best wishes
Penny
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