Friday Fictioneers – Light in the Darkness

Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story, based on a photoprompt, with a beginning, middle and end, in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and include the Photoprompt and Inlinkz (the blue frog) on your page. Link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!

FF - Light in the Darkness 180905

PHOTO PROMPT © GAH Learner

Light in the darkness

The moon had not yet risen and Dan was lost on the mountain. Despite slithering on scree made treacherous by frost he kept moving; he needed to reach Newtown, which nestled in the valley beyond the ridge.

In Newtown, Celia climbed into bed, snuggling under the deliciously warm duvet. Bliss!

The moon rose.

Celia stirred, muttered in her nightmare, then jerked awake. As she calmed her pounding heart, she realised the moon was shining directly on her face.

“Bother,” she muttered, shivering as she lowered the blind.

Meanwhile Dan strode on, giving thanks, his way now plain in the moonlight.

78 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Light in the Darkness”

    • Dear Neil
      Thank you for reading and for your helpful and encouraging comment. It’s good to know that what I was attempting actually worked! As you probably guessed, the story was more of a technical exercise than an emotionally driven piece. When I succeed in putting technique and emotion into the same story I might be getting somewhere! Which was, incidentally, what you did so well with your story this week – a real tug at the heart-strings in a beautifully constructed story.
      With very best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear EagleAye
      Thank you for reading, and for your kind comment. So often we look at things with our own interests uppermost, with never a thought for how others will see them. I’m so glad you loved the story.
      With very best wishes
      Penny

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  9. I was interested to see such technique used for a story. For a brief moment I felt that I saw two people linked by love for one another, one was in trouble, the moon called the other to action to save him. .

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Michael
      Thank you for reading and commenting. I think you must have been reading my mind as well as my story, because I felt it would be nice to link the two people. Unfortunately I couldn’t think of a way to do that effectively within the 100 word limit, so I settled for geographical proximity as the only link between the two.
      With very best wishes
      Penny

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  16. You tell us, without saying, that these two are deeply connected, perhaps soulmates. She has nightmares and wakes in sync with his peril; he recovers his footing and is grateful for the illumination of his treacherous path, as she notices the moonlight and closes the curtains. Artfully done.

    I have to say, as an American, that the mention of Newtown (ie the Connecticut shooting at a primary school) had me on the lookout for danger and sorrow, and initially, i interpreted the male character as part of the woman’s nightmare. I pasted on her the character of grieving mother, and on him, lost child, seeking to come home (her most fervent wish.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Andi
      Thank you for reading and commenting so thoughtfully.
      I’m a great believer that a piece of text means what the reader thinks it means, so I studied your comments with considerable interest.
      I can see why you felt there was a deep connection between the two – if there’s no link, then why would they be in the same story? I was aware of this as I wrote and I tried to make sure that there were two explicit connections, so there would be no need for the reader to seek an arcane link. The moon is one connection, of course, and the references to Newtown were to emphasise that the two characters were in geographical proximity.
      Which brings me to Newtown. As a UK resident, although I was aware of and appalled by the Newtown shooting, the name of the town wasn’t burned on my memory as it would be for a US citizen. The name was intended to be about as neutral as you can get – alas, I got it wrong!
      So, what was the story about in my mind then? Really, it was a technical exercise to tell an interesting story about two completely separate events within the 100 word limit. It wasn’t emotionally driven at all. The core meaning is that we all see things differently for our own good reasons.
      With very best wishes, and special thanks for the care you took in commenting,
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Russell
      Thank you for reading and commenting – and for letting me know that you read a lot more into it. It’s helpful to know that.
      I can see why you felt there was a deep connection between the two – if there’s no link, then why would they be in the same story? I was aware of this as I wrote and I tried to make sure that there were two explicit connections, so there would be no need for the reader to seek an arcane link. The moon is one connection, of course, and the references to Newtown were to emphasise that the two characters were in geographical proximity.
      Which brings me to Newtown. As a UK resident, although I was aware of and appalled by the Newtown shooting, the name of the town wasn’t burned on my memory as it would be for a US citizen. The name was intended to be about as neutral as you can get – alas, I got it wrong!
      So, what was the story about in my mind then? Really, it was a technical exercise to tell an interesting story about two completely separate events within the 100 word limit. It wasn’t emotionally driven at all. The core meaning is that we all see things differently for our own good reasons.
      With very best wishes
      Penny

      Like

    • Dear Abhijit
      Thank you for reading and commenting. There are so many different perspectives on everything – that’s one reason why Friday Fictioneers works so well – we all have a different perspective on the prompt!
      With very best wishes
      Penny

      Like

  19. This is great, it has a ‘night-feel’… don’t know how else to express it. Worry or comfort, cold and warm, light and dark, it is all there. Everything has more than one side unless you live in a onedimensional world.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Gabi
      Thank you for reading and for your lovely comment. I think your comment, “Everything has more than one side unless you live in a one dimensional world” is a really great way to summarise the story theme.
      I wonder whether the ‘night feel’ that you mention is because I mention several night-time activities and experiences that we’ve all shared?
      With very best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Francine
      Thank you for reading and commenting thoughtfully. I’m glad you liked the juxtaposition of contrasting images. I’m trying to remember to use that technique when it’s appropriate; it’s good to know it worked on this occasion.
      With very best wishes
      Penny

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    • Dear Linda
      Thank you for reading and commenting. Indeed, our perspective is our reality. It would be fun if the two met, although how well comfort-loving Celia would get on with hardy Dan I’m not sure!
      With very best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Sarah
      Thank you for reading and commenting. Many people have suggested a link between Dan and Celia. There is no mention of a link in the text, but it’s not ruled out either. I reckon that means each reader can choose the option that makes most sense to them!
      With very best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Isadora
      Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m grateful for the thought you put into your comment. Dan’s and Celia’s opposite responses to the moonlight are, as you say, the main takeaway. The story arose from the thought that however irritating it might be to have moonlight disturbing your sleep, there may be some wanderer for whom that light makes the difference between life and death.
      With very best wishes
      Penny

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    • Dear Jo
      Thank you for reading and commenting. Whether the characters are related, either now or in the future, is not mentioned by the story. However, the reader is perfectly free to link them in any way they choose because there is nothing in the text to say that they’re not related.
      With very best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

  34. I love the way you’ve incorporated several elements of the photo (the moonlight, mountain and window) into your story. As others have mentioned, this is such a well crafted piece showing two different viewpoints.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Fatima
      Thank you for reading and commenting. I love your suggestion that this is almost a yin-yang story. I must definitely write one of those!
      I didn’t intend any connection between Dan and Celia other than geographical proximity, but that doesn’t mean that you, the reader, mustn’t imagine one.
      With very best wishes
      Penny

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