Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story, based on a photoprompt, with a beginning, middle and end, in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and include the Photoprompt and Inlinkz (the blue frog) on your page. Link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!
PHOTO PROMPT © Douglas M. MacIlroy
The storm
Sunrise gave the distant hills sharp outlines.
Gaffer Lawrence shook his head.
“Gonna rain buckets,” he said.
The heaven was lacquered blue at noon. The pigs lay still in their pen, panting. The farmer tasted the air, whistled up his dogs and brought his stock under cover.
The horizon steamed. Clouds came out of nowhere. The light faded and the darkness was stifling. Sounds were distorted, submarine. The sweet smell of the cattle cloyed.
Then, as flames of pink lightning flickered on the hills, the first heavy drops fell.
By midnight, the bridge down the valley had been swept away.
This pretty much describes an Oklahoma spring.
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Dear Susan
Thank you for reading and commenting.
I hadn’t realised Oklahoma was quite as stormy as that!
With best wishes
Penny
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Parts are. It seems like the tornado belt has moved east. Or maybe we had a few mild years. But we have our moments
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Oh, Penny! This is my absolute favourite this week. Pitch perfect all along, from Gaffer Lawrence’s name, to the one line of dialogue all through the descriptions of colour and smell, those panting pigs. You have absolutely captured that feeling as dry air grows heavy and gives way to torrential rain. Just lovely
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Dear Lynn
Thank you for reading and for such complimentary comments. I’m delighted you liked the story so much.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Absolutely true – loved it
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I agree! Penny, you captured an upcoming storm just right!!!!
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luscious vignettes
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Dear Neil
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed the luscious vignettes!
With best wishes
Penny
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You painted an amazing picture with your fabulous imagery! Really loved reading this.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Dear Susan
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed the imagery so much.
With best wishes
Penny
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Lovely calm before the storm, great sense of anticipation created.
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Dear Iain
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you felt the sense of anticipation.
With best wishes
Penny
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I so love the way you painted the image.. a great way to describe the storm from the tension to the first raindrops to the bridge swept away.
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Dear Bjorn
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed my word painting.
With best wishes
Penny
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I like the spareness of this narrative. Well done.
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Dear Josh
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed the narrative.
With best wishes
Penny
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Loved the atmosphere… I could so feel the heaviness of the air. Beautifully done, Penny.
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Dear Dale
Thank you for reading and commenting. The lead up to a big storm is very characteristic, isn’t it? I’m glad you enjoyed my description.
With very best wishes
Penny
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It truly was, Ms Penny! And I did, very much so.
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The old farmers always know when bad weather’s coming. Well done, Penny.
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Dear Sascha
Thank you for reading and commenting. We’ve lost a lot of country lore over the last 100 years, but there are still places where traditional knowledge is handed on.
With best wishes
Penny
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I am mesmerised by the rich descriptions. Glorious storytelling, Penny .
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Dear Moon
Thank you for reading and for your lovely comment. ‘Mesmerised’ is an interesting choice of words. I tried to evoke a sense of stillness before the deluge; I wonder if that was what you felt?
With very best wishes
Penny
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I was too absorbed in the beautiful descriptions but I did realise that the farmers were getting ready for a heavy rain shower amidst my meditative adoration of your words. 🙂
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A sensory delight! Loved it. Very well done, I had to go back for a second read to savour it.
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Dear Sandra
Thank you for reading and commenting. Wow, that’s a big compliment from a writer as good as you – thank you so much!
With very best wishes
Penny
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So clearly drawn it was almost like watching a video of this gathering storm.
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Dear Linda
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you felt the story was clearly drawn. I did several edits, each time swapping words for more precise ones until the whole thing felt right.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Loved the slow buildup of this. I could feel that storm coming. I especially liked this line, “Sounds were distorted, submarine.” I’ve felt that before. It’s an apt description. A terrific piece.
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Dear EagleAye
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m really pleased you liked the description of the distorted sound. It’s something I’ve only experienced a few times, and I think it’s a weird feeling!
With very best wishes
Penny
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Pink lightning, smell of cattle, tasting the air… Such vivid descriptions that capture the sense of rain. Delightful story Penny!
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Dear Fluid Phrase
Thank you for reading and for your lovely comment. I’m so glad you enjoyed the story.
With best wishes
Penny
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Great descriptive piece.
Randy
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Dear Randy
Thank you for reading and commenting!
With best wishes
Penny
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one of the best so far this week. well done.
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Dear Plaridel
Thank you for reading and for your kind comment. I’m glad you enjoyed the story.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Even if the bridge gets swept away, the first fat drops to break the tension can be such a relief.
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Dear Alice
Thank you for reading and commenting. The breaking of the storm can certainly bring physical relief.
With best wishes
Penny
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Gorgeous imagery. Loved the story.
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Dear Lisa
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m delighted you loved the story.
With best wishes
Penny
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Sounds like storms in Botswana. Clouds appear fast, rain comes fast and heavy and roads are flooded in minutes. I can smell the storm approaching with your descriptions.
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Dear Fatima
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’d love to experience one of your storms; they must be very exciting!
With best wishes
Penny
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Wow! Beautiful imagery.
When a storm like this was approaching our farm my dad would say, “Looks like it’s gonna come a turd-floater. You boys better get inside before you get washed away.”
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Dear Russell
I’m glad you liked the imagery. Did you inherit your sense of humour from your dad, do you suppose? 😉
With very best wishes
Penny
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Love the build up, as Lawrence and his animals sense the storm and take precautions.
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Dear Ali
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you liked the build up to the storm. Nobody wants to have to go out in that weather to tend to the stock.
With best wishes
Penny
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Dear Penny,
From one extreme to the other. Brilliant piece of writing.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
Thank you for reading and for such a complimentary comment.
Shalom
Penny
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I could actually visualize the scene. Great write.
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Dear Yarnspinnerr,
Thank you for reading and for your nice comment. I’m glad you could visualise the scene.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Brilliantly written down Penny. The description is great. One moment it’s ok and then….
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Dear Norma
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed my description of the gathering storm.
With best wishes
Penny
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Loved the way you created an amazing atmosphere of the storm to come. 👏👏
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Dear Shivam
Thank you for reading, and for your lovely comment. I’m glad you enjoyed my story.
With best wishes
Penny
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Anticipation captured in wonderful prose. I love this piece.
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Dear Jilly
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m delighted you enjoyed my piece.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Penny I think you were weather perfect this week and described it perfectly. We have days like that here. The farmers can always pick them – ours can’t always get their beasts under cover. just up on higher ground. I thought it was great.
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Dear Irene
Thank you for reading and for your helpful comment. I always appreciate it when someone takes the trouble to check my description against their own experience and lets me know what they think. Even if they think I’ve got it wrong, it’s so good to know because then I can improve.
With very best wishes
Penny
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The writing is so rich, I can feel the tension before the storm building up until it is released. The matter of fact statement, ‘raining buckets’ is the perfect contrast to the scene.
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Dear Gabi
Thank you for reading and commenting so kindly. I’m glad you liked the way the tension built. I love the different ways different localities refer to very heavy rain. In my own location in Devon we have “Comin’ down stair-rods” and “Leakin’ wet”. “Rainin’ buckets” is more a Midlands/North variant.
Such richness in the English language!
With very best wishes
Penny
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That was written so well. Each word adding in its own way to the richness of the scene.
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Dear Anurag
Thank you for reading, and for such a lovely comment. I put a great deal of effort into editing this story, trying to choose precisely the right word, and I’m so pleased that you noticed.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Great writing you could smell, taste, feel the atmosphere.
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Dear Michael
Thank you for reading and commenting. I tried hard to evoke the most notable aspects of the build-up to the storm, and I’m glad you enjoyed that.
With best wishes
Penny
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Brilliant writing. You’ve created an atmosphere that evokes all of our senses.
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Dear Magarisa
Thank you for reading and for your kind comment. I’m glad you enjoyed the use of all the senses.
With best wishes
Penny
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Very atmospheric.
The language is lovely in this.
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Dear Dawn
Thank you for reading and for your generous comment.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Dear Penny, I think this is one of your best! I could feel atmospheric pressure through your descriptions: the pigs, the farmer tasting the air (wow!), then whistling up his dogs and bringing his stock under cover . . . LOVED this.
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Dear Alicia
Thank you for reading and for your very kind comments. I spent hours agonising over the prompt, which didn’t inspire me at all, until I thought “Bother it! I’ll write about the clouds” So I did. Then I spent hours editing, and re-editing, all the time aiming to find exactly the right detail, the right phrase, the right word. And I felt very doubtful about it when I’d finished. So your comment that it’s one of my best is very encouraging – thank you so much!
With very best wishes
Penny
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It was time and agony well spent because you brought your piece to perfection.
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Love the sensuousness of this – the tasting the air, the whistling and colours of the sky. It is all so vivid.
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Dear Sarah Ann
Thank you for reading and for your kind comment. I’m glad you found the writing sensuous and vivid.
With best wishes
Penny
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Great sense of impending doom. That heavy feeling of rain coming. Well told
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Dear Laurie
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you felt the sense of impending doom.
With best wishes
Penny
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A powerful account of the impending storm in all its force. Well done.
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Dear Francine
Thank you for reading and commenting.
With best wishes
Penny
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