Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story, based on a photoprompt, with a beginning, middle and end, in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and include the Photoprompt and Inlinkz (the blue frog) on your page. Link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!
PHOTO PROMPT © Sandra Crook
Light for the darkest night
The Thames chuckled treacherously as the ebbing tide tugged at the bridge. The lights of the Embankment were haloed by midnight drizzle.
Mary leaned over the parapet, sodden and chilled.
That cow from the Social Services. ‘We’re concerned about your child’s home environment, about his safety. Better we take Jonny into care.’
Bitch!
Mary sobbed, and threw her leg over the parapet. They’d be sorry when they pulled her body out of the river!
“Excuse me,” said a stranger’s voice.
“God, you startled me. I almost fell!”
“You don’t really want to jump then? I’m glad. Here, take my hand.”
*
I apologise to any social workers who happen to read this. I know that you are dedicated professionals, working under extreme pressure and getting it right the large majority of the time.
Feels like it’s time to watch ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ again after reading that. Nicely done.
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Dear Iain
Thank you for reading and commenting. Christmas is a time for classic movies, after all.
With best wishes
Penny
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The night is darkest just before the dawn.
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Dear Lore
Thank you for reading and commenting. I don’t think there would have been a dawn without the kindness of a stranger.
With best wishes
Penny
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Aww heartwarming.
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Dear Louise
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you found it heartwarming.
With best wishes
Penny
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Dear Penny,
The last line made me smile and filled me with hope for her. I loved the sound of the Thames chuckling. Nice descriptions.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m so glad you felt hope for Mary; i’m sure things work out for her!
With best wishes
Penny
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sometimes you are overwhelmed with thoughts and self-pity, how beautiful coincidences are at the right moment and that most things are half as bad as you think! A nice Christmas story…: )
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Dear Anie
Thank you for reading and commenting. You are right; sometimes we can be overwhelmed, and see no hope. But in reality there is (almost) always hope.
With best wishes
Penny
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a nicely placed response. They say, everything has a reason, a lesson to learn … some harsher than others.
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Dear Ellen,
Thank you for reading and commenting. You certainly can learn lessons from everything.
With best wishes
Penny
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My pleasure. 😇
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I saw the Thames there, and the Embankment. And, of course, the desperation
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Dear Neil
Thank you for reading and for your lovely comment. The prompt photo is so similar to the street lights on the Embankment that I couldn’t resist writing about the Thames!
With best wishes
Penny
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Guess all she really needed was some saving. Nice one, Penny
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Dear Varad
Thank you for reading and commenting. I have no doubt at all that she would have jumped within seconds if the stranger hadn’t spoken to her. As it was, someone made contact, someone cared – and that was enough. As Lore says in her story, you don’t do it because nobody’s watching, you do it because nobody cares.
With best wishes
Penny
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yes I think so. To feel to be on hi own in bad situations ist the worst thing. Someone who took her hand and touched her was surely the best thing what could happend.
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I wonder about Mary’s background and why the social services people want to take her child in their care.
Brilliant story and writing, Penny.
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Dear Moon
Thank you for reading and for your lovely comment.
This story is actually a distillation of the opening of the first novel I wrote, ‘The Happiness Drug’, and we learn about Mary’s background and why social services want to take the child into care. For here, I’ll just say that there was an abusive husband who told lies in court about his wife.
With best wishes
Penny
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No need to apologize. It’s clear this is all about the character and where her head is at.
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Dear Alice
Thank you for reading. Thank you, too, for your kind comment. Yes, no blame attached to social services – I’m glad it was clear that the story was about Mary’s reaction rather than social services’ action.
With best wishes
Penny
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Well crafted story – I enjoyed reading it.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Dear Susan
Thank you for reading and for your kind comment. I’m glad you enjoyed reading the story.
With best wishes
Penny
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Ooh, I love that first paragraph. So atmospheric, with the water sucking at the bridge – lovely imagery, Penny. A hopeful tale, this, and I’ve heard of very similar things happening in real life. Lovely
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Dear Lynn
That’s a lovely comment, Lynn, thank you so much.
With very best wishes
Penny
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My total pleasure 🙂
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God bless the helping hand reaching out at a vital moment.
People tend to lie to themselves —“I’m no worse than lots of other parents.” Social Services doesn’t take children into care without valid reasons.
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Dear Christine
Thank you for reading and commenting. I agree with you about Social Services. And about God blessing the helping hand.
There is, in fact a back story for this piece of flash fiction. Social Services had ample reason for taking the boy into care, but at the same time the mother was an excellent mum. Lies that smeared Mary’s character, told under oath in a court of law, had to be taken seriously by Social Services.
With best wishes
Penny
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“The Thames chuckled treacherously”…what a brilliant start to the story! You created a strong atmosphere through your descriptions. I smiled at the stranger’s kind words, which ended the tale with a warm glow.
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Dear Magarisa
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m delighted that you liked the atmosphere of the story. Smiling at the stranger’s kind words shows the warmth of your heart.
With best wishes
Penny
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My pleasure, Penny.
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In a moments of darkness, we all need a helping hand, sadly some social workers have been taken over by the needs of safeguarding
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Dear Michael
Thank you for reading and commenting. As you say, we all need a helping hands when things seem at their bleakest. However, I have the highest respect for social workers on the ground. They do an incredibly difficult job for which I would have neither the courage nor the stomach. Alas, the same cannot be said of their political masters…
With very best wishes
Penny
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It only takes a kind word and a little concern to make things better. wonderfully told
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this is right! The difficult thing is to be at the right place at the right time and find the right words!
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True that, Anie!
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Dear Alicia
Thank you for reading, and for your appreciative comment.
A kind word is a good start to making things better, and can avert a moment of great danger.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Wow! Such a heart-warming and hopeful ending after that bleak start 🙂 Loved it.
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Dear Anurag
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you loved the hope in my story; we all need hope.
With best wishes,
Penny
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Its light in the darkness! What a hope amidst despair! 💐💐💐
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Dear Spiced Mullings
Thank you for reading and commenting. While there is often hope in despair, it takes someone to hold out their hand in friendship before the despairing person can see the hope.
With best wishes
Penny
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👌👌👌👌👌👏👏👏
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Good one, Penny. And I don’t think you should apologise either – life is what it is. There is justice and injustice all around. Nice though, to have your piece end on a positive note.
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Dear Sandra
Thank you for reading and for your kind comments.
I appreciate your remark about apologising. All I intended was to make it clear that I think social workers generally get things right, and that I admire them for what they do.
With very best wishes
Penny
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She had a guardian angel, thankfully.
Click to read my FriFic!
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Dear Keith
Thank you for reading and commenting. Mary certainly had someone looking out for her!
With best wishes
Penny
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Nice story. I’m wondering just how many unhappy people have died in that great river?
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Dear Bryan
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Dozens kill themselves there every year, I’m afraid. Since 2016 there has been a pilot scheme of volunteers patrolling Westminster bridge to try and save potential suicides.
With best wishes
Penny
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An angel unaware? Lovely ending to a very stark reality.
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Dear Linda
Thank you for reading and commenting. The stranger could well have been sent by God, although I feel he was a very human man.
With best wishes
Penny
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I liked how the story ended. Glad someone is looking out for her!
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Dear Nadia
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you liked the way the story ended.
With best wishes
Penny
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It´s a nice end, full of hope!
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Thank you, Anie!
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Very wonderful tale with a hopeful ending.
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Dear Lisa
Thank you for reading and for your kind words. This close to Christmas, a hopeful ending seemed more appropriate!
All the best
Penny
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A hard call for child welfare services – they’re dammed if they do and dammed if they don’t. It can be devestating for those involved and you have shown this well. Nice to have it end on a note of hope.
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Dear Irene
Thank you for reading and commenting. I think working for child welfare services must be one of the toughest jobs going. I’m glad you enjoyed the hopeful ending.
With best wishes
Penny
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Nice, a split-second decision quickly reversed as a stranger pulls her back to reality.
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Dear Ali
Thank you for reading and commenting. I like the way you say ‘a stranger pulls her back to reality.’ That’s exactly right.
With best wishes
Penny
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I second Linda. The people responsible for social child welfare have to realize that social problems are not solved by legislation. Great take.
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Sorry to be argumentative, YS, but I have to disagree at least in part.
It is essential to have legislation that penalises bad behaviour towards children, that ensures children without family (such as orphans) receive good care, and that ensures sufficient social justice that families are not dirt poor. Of course, that is far from sufficient on its own, and ultimately all children must have love, the more the better. And every human system will be fallible and let some people down.
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True to a great extent. Yet I believe it is the social and cultural understanding along with compassionate and responsible implementation that needs to be addressed.
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I think we’re on the same verse of the same hymn sheet on that, YS!
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There is no need for you to realize because life happens beyond rules and legislations. Loved the positivity in your story. Would have been disappointed had it ended on a tragic note. Very well written, Penny.
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Dear Neel
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you loved the positivity in my story.
With best wishes
Penny
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That opening two lines! Simply gorgeous. Great emotion! And using the bridge as a character too. Clever
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Dear Laurie
Thank for reading, and for your very kind comments. There’s such a lot of history in the Thames that I find it difficult not to think of it as a sentient being, with greed and treachery at its heart.
With very best wishes
Penny
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the giggling was treacherous, but greed and betrayal of a sentient being drawn as a river? Water is life, the flowing water shows how things are constantly changing. Yes of course, I also find it shocking how many people it devoured. Is it angry and meen this character … because of Christmas I think of this “Grinch” (although I do not know the movie, I’ve heard a lot of it lately) … the Christmas stories generally are about “evil” people who were just lonely and find happiness throughout history.
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I’m really thinking of the way ideas associate themselves with significant places. The Thames in London has seen bloodshed, betrayal and greed for two thousand years, and UK residents have all read so much about it that those actions are all conjured up by the thought of the Thames.
On the one hand, I know that it’s flowing water of sufficiently good quality to support salmon and many other fish; on the other hand I see – in my imagination – a queen going to be executed; a prostitute’s body dumped unceremoniously; a desperate soul hurling himself from a bridge; a vessel coming to the port with illegal drugs concealed on board.
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these are all very dark events that you associate with the river. Too bad about the beautiful river, maybe you just have to leave the city to sing the song of praise to him and pair him with lovers, birdsong and romantic sunsets.
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Beautiful story. Wouldn’t it be nice if a guardian angel of sorts was always there for those who think they have nothing worth living for.
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Dear Susan
Thank you for reading and commenting. A guardian angel would be nice. Maybe we humans are called to be more like guardian angels than we currently are?
With best wishes
Penny
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The entire scene played out like a movie – very well penned Penny 🙂
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Dear Dahlia
Thank you for reading, and for your kind comment.
With best wishes
Penny
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Lovely description and a moving story. Nicely done.
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Dear Clare
Thank you for reading, and for your kind comment. I’m glad you found the story moving.
With best wishes
Penny
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They say that stopping a suicide is not hard at all… you just have to be there normally… I once talked a friend out of it, and he’s still alive. The scenery at the Thames makes me feel like I was there.
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Dear Bjorn
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you were able to save your friend. It must have been a scary situation for you. I’m delighted that you found the description of the Thames realistic.
With best wishes
Penny
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I enjoyed reading your story – you convey a lot so succinctly, & a real sense of place. Like the ending, simply put and full of hope.
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Reblogged this on Musings of a Penpusher and commented:
Pause for thought and an invitation to re-think.
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It’s too bad the holidays are a hard time for many to get through. It would be a tough choice to take a child away from a parent. It tugs at the heart. Good writing, Penny. —- Suzanne
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Dear Suzanne
Thank you for reading, and for your warm and thoughtful comment. I can’t imagine making such a decision without heartache; and the mother’s heartache must be worse. Family breakdown is tragic.
With best wishes
Penny
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Penny, this story was poignant and I could feel the mum’s despair. I see it generated several comments and opinions. You really touched on reality here. Good one.
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Dear Vivian
Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it when people take the trouble to comment. I’m glad Mary’s emotions resonated with you, and that the story felt real.
With best wishes
Penny
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A great read, Penny.
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