Friday Fictioneers – Money on Trees

Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story, based on a photoprompt, with a beginning, middle and end, in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and include the Photoprompt and Inlinkz on your page. Link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!

PHOTO PROMPT (C) DAVID STEWART

Money on Trees

There were fifteen of them, moving stealthily through the jungle. Carlos was nervous, aware that Jose was watching him; judging. There were riches ahead, but there were risks, too. Every man carried a weapon. They’d laughed at Carlos when he said he didn’t have a gun.

The terrain was rough. The overgrown paths, winding like animal tracks, became muddy as they approached a cataract.

‘Put your feet exactly where I put mine,’ said Jose.

Sweating, panting, terrified, Carlos crested the waterfall, and there it was. Money on trees; a coca plantation.

‘You can afford a gun now,’ laughed Jose.

InLinkz – click here to join the fun!

43 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Money on Trees

    • Dear Gabi
      What a lovely comment – thank you! You are right that I intended an underlying unease throughout. It’s a seminal experience for Carlos, as he is initiated into the drug runners cartel. He’ll never feel truly safe again.
      All the best
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your perceptive comment, Patricia. You’re right; Carlos will never feel truly safe again. Once you’ve joined the drug runners, you’re committed; there’s no turning back.

      Like

    • Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Brenda. There is a moment’s euphoria for Carlos as he reaches the coca plantation, but now he is committed; forever an outlaw, and unable to leave the drug cartel.

      Like

    • Thank you for your perceptive comment, Laurie. I like to try and show life from different perspectives. Even the worst of us are human, with a desire for security, respect and love. Carlos can satisfy two out of the three (security and respect) by joining the drug cartel.

      Like

  1. Oh boy. So much in this. The guns, the tension, the danger – and the ending is fantastic – opens up a future for Carlos that is a logical continuation of this trek through the jungle, although still a surprise.I really like how Carlos’s lack of a gun and their mockery of him builds a vivid picture of his character. He seems so out of his league with this group. Brilliant.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Margaret
      What a lovely comment! Thank you for the careful feedback on the elements that worked well for you. I’m delighted you picked up on the gun as marking the distinction between Carlos and the other members of the gang – that was very much what I intended.
      Very best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

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