Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story, based on a photoprompt, with a beginning, middle and end, in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and include the Photoprompt and Inlinkz on your page. Link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!
Desirable/Undesirable
He and she were in Jerusalem with their families, which you would have thought made them fairly safe from meeting anybody…undesirable. And yet, here we are, in a Romeo and Juliet situation.
There was drama, sure. He saw lads high up on Roman ruins, saw them pushing at a stone. He saw a girl below, oblivious. He ran, shouted, leapt, pushed her out of danger. The stone shattered on the ground, and a shard pierced his leg. Blood everywhere. She staunched the wound.
Only five minutes before their families arrived, but the damage was done, phone numbers exchanged.
Shalom.
Salaam.
Autumn Leaves 
Yikes. Great story, Penny, well told. 🙂
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Yikes indeed! Thank you for your very nice comment, Bill. I’m glad you enjoyed the story.
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The reference to Shakespearean tragedy is effective. paving the way for the final two words, which gave the entire story a new resonance
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Thank you for your detailed comment, Neil. It’s so helpful to know when technical devices are effective – or otherwise, of course!
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Poignant and all too relatable. Great setting and excellent ending!
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Thank you for your kind comment, Na’ama. I’m delighted you liked the ending.
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Now that’s an interesting “how I met your mother” type story.
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Thank you for your kind comment, Tannille. I hope the meeting does become a ‘how I met your mother’ type story, but I fear there’s a long, hard road ahead for the young couple.
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A modern retelling steeped in history. Expertly done Penny.
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Thank you for your kind comment, Iain. I pray tat love will eventually overcome hatred in the Middle East.
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A very effective construct. Well done, Penny.
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Thank you for your kind and helpful comment, Sandra. It’s great to know the structure was effective.
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Modern day fairy tale. Hope their story have good ending
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Thank you for your kind comment, Vartika. I hope their story has a happy ending, too.
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Aww, so romantic for such a terrifying event. Well done, Penny.
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Thank you for your lovely comment, Mason. Romance can be a dangerous business, especially in the Middle East.
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Yes, romance in a lot of countries is about status symbols not love.
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I really like this one, lots of great subtext and a positive message too. Great job.
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Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comment, David. I’m glad you appreciated the sub-text; it’s always good to hear when technique has been effective.
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I wonder if it will go further than a holiday romance?
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Thank you for your kind comment, Ali. I think there’s a good chance it will go beyond a holiday romance – and this will cause consternation among their families.
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I like how the back story and the projected future are all left to the readers’ speculation. Nicely done.
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Thank you for your thoughtful comment, James. I really appreciate your thoughts on the back story and the projected future.
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the way they said goodbye spoke volumes. is there a future fo them? i wonder.
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Thank you for your perceptive comment, Plaridel. I hope there’s a future for them together, but it will be very difficult.
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I really want to know if the hand of fate was at work or these were two serial cheaters trying to be good on vaca for once and failing. Good textured storytelling, Penny.
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Thank you for commenting, Lisa. This couple weren’t serial cheaters; if anything, they were a couple of innocents like Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. The problem is that he is Arab and she is Jewish.
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Ah! Thanks for clearing up the mystery, Penny.
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Oh I love this. You’ve built such a detailed backstory just by referencing the R and J, and the ‘lads’ up to mischief, and the ‘families’. Then the punchy close. Brilliant. I hope the parallels with the original star-crossed lovers don’t continue to the tragic ending of that pair.
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Thank you for your detailed comment, Margaret; you’re very kind to mention the aspects of the story that make it appeal to you. Like you, I hope that the star-crossed lovers find joy rather than the tragedy of R & J.
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Dear Penny,
The heart wants what the heart wants. I hope their outcome is a better one than Romeo and Juliette. What a way to meet. Well written as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
Thank you very much for your kind comment. ‘The heart wants what the heart wants.’ I’ve never heard it put quite like that before, and it’s true. Love can just happen spontaneously, especially that first love of our teenage years.
Shalom
Penny
xx
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