Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story, based on a photoprompt, with a beginning, middle and end, in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and include the Photoprompt and Inlinkz on your page. Link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!
Vanished
Mags and I wandered along the coast path. Sonorous waves breathed calmly, and countless bees hummed in the heather. I gave Mags a hug, and she grinned at me.
‘What’s that for, Mum?’ she asked.
‘Oh, because I love you! And because I want to tell you about your dad.’
She stiffened.
‘Tom and I were on that beach. We’d been quarrelling – we often did – but we made up. Afterwards, I dozed, and when I woke, Tom had gone. I never saw him again.’
Briefly Mags was silent, then, ‘Would you mind if I looked for him, Mum?’ she asked.
Autumn Leaves 
I wonder whether she’ll find him. I suspect not
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Thank you for commenting, Neil. I suspect you may be right.
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If her mum can remember Tom’s surname she might have a chance of finding him.
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Thank you for commenting, Liz. Yes, in this digital age Mags has several powerful tools for searching for her dad.
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Dear Penny,
I can see why Mags might want to do some searching of her own. Mum doesn’t seem too concerned over Dad’s disappearance, does she? Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
Thank you for your comment, which was very helpful. I realised when I read it that the story didn’t make it clear that Tom’s disappearance had happened before Mags was born. I’d done an extensive rewrite of the original draft, and somehow lost the bit that said Mags was conceived on the beach, and Tom had then disappeared. Careless Penny!
Shalom
Penny
xx
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Dear Penny,
Aaah, much clearer now. Well done. Nothing wrong with going back to edit in mid-challenge. In fact, I applaud you. Brava!
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A lovely beach walk with heart breaking memories.
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Thank you for your empathic comment, James. Yes, memories of loss without explanation must indeed be heart breaking.
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What’s Mum not telling us? I love the mystery of this.
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Thank you for your encouraging comment, Miranda. I think if Mum is not telling us something, it’s something she doesn’t think is important…
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The mysterious Tom! I hope she finds him – and isn’t disappointed with what she finds!
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Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I hope she isn’t disappointed too, but every worthwhile quest carries the potential for disappointment don’t you think?
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What a charming into to a potentially wonderfully interesting story. 🙂
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Thank you for your very kind comments, Bill. I really must try to make time to write a longer story based on this scene.
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🙂
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i have no doubt she’ll find him but i’m just wondering it’s worth the effort.
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Thank you for your wise comment, Plaridel. There are many ways in which Mags could be hurt by what she discovers.
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I wonder what Mum’s answer to Mags’ question will be. I’m guessing OK as she is the one who opened the door to the conversation. Maybe Mum already knows… I like the intrigue in this one.
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Thank you for your thoughtful and imaginative comment, Lisa. It may not have been easy for Mum to raise the subject with her daughter. I find myself wondering what her motives really were.
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You’re most welcome. Maybe a part 2 in the future??
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My sinister mind suspects she might have to take up snorkeling. Mummy left out some details.
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‘Take up snorkelling’ indeed! Teehee! Thank you for the entertaining comment, Tannille.
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Seems Tom walked away but left a living reminder of what happened on the beach day.
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Thank you for your comment, Keith. Tom may have walked away; then again he may have been taken away by person or persons unknown…or Mum may be lying…The solid fact is, though, as you say; he left a living reminder of what happened on the beach that day.
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Well, Mum did broach the topic.
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Thank you for your penetrating comment. Why did Mum say anything? And why then? And are we sure we know why there at that particular beach? My characters frequently tell lies…
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Wonderful write – I saw your response to Rochelle and that does change one’s idea of the whats and such.
Oh jeez! I don’t know why but I just had an image of “Mama Mia”! At least there is only one potential dad! And, hopefully Mum will have more info to give Mags to help her in her search…
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Thank you for your lovely comment, Dale. I’m rather pleased you thought of Mamma Mia – I like Abba’s music. Yes, as you say, there’s only one potential dad. I rather hope Mags finds him.
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Ugh! I dropped an ‘m’ by accident 😉
I rather hope she does, too. And I like that her Mum doesn’t seem to be against her looking for him.
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So many possible reason for his disappearing, I hope when she finds him in is one which she can love him for
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Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Michael. I think you’re very wise to hope that when she finds him he is somewhere where she can respect and love him.
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Oh, that was tenderly and believably written. Lovely. And … I hope she would. And I hope she finds out what she seeks, and that there is closure. For both.
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What a lovely and precious comment, Na’ama. There’s something very powerful and beautiful in the mother-daughter love, isn’t there?
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Indeed there can be, and often is! 🙂
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feel sorry for her…….
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Thank you for commenting, i b. Yes, Mum has had tragedy in her life. I feel, though, that she and her daughter are very close, and I’m sure this gives both of them both happiness and joy.
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And what did Mum say?
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Thank you for your comment, Danny. What would you like Mum to say?
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I had a hunch that Mags was conceived on the beach and saw it confirmed in the comments. I can understand that she wants to get to know her father, most of us want to know where we came from. I hope she won’t be disappointed. They don’t seem to have talked much about him in the past.
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Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Gabi. You always read my stories very perceptively. You’re right that they haven’t spoken much about Mags’s father. I wonder why not? I’m sure Mags would have been curious…
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An important moment here, captured beautifully in the dialogue between these two. Having just been on a DNA journey myself to search for a similarly ‘lost’ parent for someone close to me, this story really resonated with me.
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Thank you for your very kind comment, Margaret. I’m delighted that the story resonated with you, and I hope your DNA journey was successful.
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Yes it was very successful, thank you Penny.
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🙂
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Aw, did he go before even knowing he was going to have a child? Does he know? She makes it sound like she wants to see him again, not that she is angry that he left in the first place. So much conflict to feel in a case like this.
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Thank you for your empathic comment, Stine. Yes, he left without knowing he was going to be a dad. I don’t know that would have made much difference though. He just vanished from her life and she hadn’t seen him again before this story.
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Aw, sort of sad…
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The question that she knew would come one day? Of course it would. And all she can do now is stand by and hope that her daughter’s love for her will never change. She need not worry. The very fact that the question was asked shows they have an unbreakable bond.
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Thank you for such a perceptive and empathic comment, Jilly. During her childhood, Mags could see that mention of her father distressed her mum. Wanting her mum to be happy, she learned to stay silent. But, of course, as you say, the question as bound to come some day. It says much for the strength of their love that Mags respects her mum’s wishes enough to wait until she was prepared to talk about Tom.
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Mags must have been waiting for this moment for a long time, as she doesn’t seem shocked at all!
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Thank you for your perceptive comment, Mags(!). As you say, Mags had been waiting patiently for her mother to be ready to tell her about her dad. She’s not shocked, but she has to brace herself for what she might hear, hence the sentence, ‘She stiffened’.
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I like the name Mags. 😉
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Difficult to imagine how you could possibly find closure after such an event. I hope the daughter finds it for her.
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Thank you for your kind comment, Sandra. I think finding closure would depend very much on the depth of the relationship between Tom and the mother. I’m exploring that in a longer version of the story.
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