Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story, based on a photoprompt, with a beginning, middle and end, in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and include the Photoprompt and Inlinkz on your page. Link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!
PHOTO PROMPT © Anne Higa
The Wall
Ralph coughed and spat brown phlegm. How the hell was he supposed to climb a brick wall? His vision swam as he looked around. What the hell was a bucket doing here anyway?
One foot in the bucket and…
It swivelled from under his feet.
He fell, awkwardly. Hell, that hurt.
Something to take away the pain. Quickly. He swigged. Belched. Acid reflux filled his mouth.
Safe behind the armoured glass of an adjacent window, bargain-hunting shoppers barged through tinselled aisles.
Ralph beat on the glass, then slid to the ground.
The shoppers neither saw him nor heard him.
Autumn Leaves 
I’m not sure Ralph was up to any good
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Thank you for your comment, Neil.
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Dear Penny,
I wasn’t quite sure what Ralph was doing climbing a wall where people shopped. At any rate I felt his pain down to his reflux. Poor guy. Good writing.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
Thank you for your kind comment. And thank you for seeing Ralph.
Shalom,
Penny xx
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I saw Ralph as being intoxicated and having DTs
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Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Michael. The author agrees with your interpretation.
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Poor Ralph, although it sounds like he may only have himself to blame for his predicament!
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Thank you for your comment, Iain. Ralph’s actions have certainly contributed to his predicament – but blame?
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No idea what is happening here but it is fun.
Although not for Ralph, obviously!
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Thank you for your interesting comment, CE. Although I feature elements of the photo prompt, that’s not how I justify my take on it. What I saw in the picture above everything else was the absolute barrier between inside and outside; and that’s what the story’s about.
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Poor Ralph. I felt as though I was behind the glass with him.
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Thank you for your compassionate comment, Tannille. You have seen to the heart of my story.
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So much mystery in this one; I’m not sure whether he’s a guy I should be cheering for, but that’s a hell of a way to go!
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Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Elmo. Do cheer for Ralph. He’s a human being, caught in a trap of poverty and substance abuse.
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Oh well then I’m extra cheering for him. But even if he was the worst sort of human, that’s no way to end up.
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Well-written, Penny. You leave the reader wanting more!
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What a very kind comment, Josh. The style of this story was a bit different from my usual, so it’s good to know that it worked.
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Grim tale. That suffering and tragedy can take place without anyone noticing, much less caring, is one of the more cruel aspects of life. Well-written Penny.
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Thank you for your compassionate comment. You’ve read to the heart of the story; I thought you probably would. Yes, the homeless are pretty much invisible to most of us, aren’t they?
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Ralph was trapped in a real nightmare there. Hope somebody helps him soon. Good story well done.
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Thank you for your comment, Mason. I doubt anyone will see Ralph unless they’re out on the streets looking.
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You’re most welcome.
Poor Ralph. after that he needs a friend.
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Is Ralph a thug, a homeless guy , or what? We need more
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Thank you for your encouraging comment, Larry. Ralph was a homeless guy with a substance abuse problem. I deliberately don’t spell this out because – if done properly, and I’m not claiming to have succeeded – it makes the story more interesting if the reader has to do some of the work.
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Now this is full of mystery to keep me wondering.
You really communicate Ralph’s predicament and pain and although he doesn’t immediately come across as an attractive character, neither do the shoppers, too busy about their business to see somebody’s pain.
I really like this.
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Thank you for such an encouraging and insightful comment. No, Ralph is not attractive, and neither are the shoppers – but I have often stood in the shoppers’ place, and any one of us could find ourselves in Ralph’s position if we were unlucky. I’m so glad you liked the story.
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Poor Ralph! It’s never good not to be seen. I felt his despair and his angst. Brilliant writing, Penny!
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Thank you for such an encouraging comment, Brenda. There are far too many homeless people nowadays; it seems to be built into our social system somehow.
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Heavy sigh. There are indeed far too many.
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Oh dear. Poor Ralph. He is in quite the state – an unfortunate soul who remains unseen by all those who prefer not to.
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Thank you for your empathic comment. You’re right that we often choose not to see the homeless, especially when, like Ralph, they’re intoxicated and look dangerous.
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If we don’t look, we don’t see, they don’t exist. Sad reality for many.
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A good piece of flash fiction leaves lots of questions. Like, for instance, how did he get there? Why can no one see or hear him? Just for starters.
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Thank you for your kind comment, Linda. Although I feature elements of the photo prompt – the bucket, and the brick wall – that’s not my take on the prompt. What I saw in the picture more than anything else was the absolute barrier between inside and outside; and that’s what the story’s about. Ralph is homeless and in thrall to substance abuse; the shoppers are focussed on finding the right Christmas gifts. The whole story is a metaphor.
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I missed that–shame on me. I’m actually of a very practical mindset unless I really work at letting my imagination run free 🙂
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Sounds like someone’s worst nightmare. Poor guy!
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Thank you for your sympathetic comment. Yes, Ralph was in a nightmarish position.
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You’re welcome, Penny.
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I always get chills when safety and normality is so close and can even be seen, but unreachable.
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Thank you for your insightful comment, Ali. I agree that the proximity of safety really ratchets up the tension.
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Didn’t see or didn’t want to see? How many staggering drunk people do we pass by in the streets without wanting to see… could just as well be a brick wall between us. Great story, Penny.
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Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Gabi. Getting out of the twin traps of substance abuse and poverty must be just as difficult as climbing a high brick wall.
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Sounds like Ralph managed to wangle himself into an unfortunate predicament. Perhaps it will become a lesson learned….
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Thank you for commenting. I fear it’s rather too late for Ralph to learn any more lessons.
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You can’t beat a story that leaves the reader sitting back, intrigued, and wanting more! I wonder…!
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Poor Ralph. I wonder why he is trapped there.
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Intriguing story. Ralph remains a mystery and upto the reader’s imagination to decide whether he plays the role of a thief/victim/unlucky worker. Nicely done.
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