Friday Fictioneers – Hunted!

Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story, based on a photoprompt, with a beginning, middle and end, in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and include the Photoprompt and Inlinkz on your page. Link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!

PHOTO PROMPT © Brenda Cox

Hunted

Murumatsu knew they were hunting him.

From the corner of his eye he caught the flash of a lantern reflected from a knife blade, and ran. If he could only reach Midori’s bar…

He barged between cursing men. Rain-drenched awnings clung to him like the tentacles of an octopus. Murumatsu winced as he grasped a hot grill to lever himself round a corner.

He side-stepped into Midori’s bar.

“Whatever’s the matter, Murumatsu?” she asked with concern.

Two men appeared at the door to the bar, blocking Murumatsu’s escape.

“Midori, can you please make sure your brother takes his medication?”

 Inlinkz – click here to join the fun

42 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Hunted!

  1. Very suspenseful. That sounds like a very wild brother, with the knife and all.
    BTW, I think something is wrong with the link on Inlinkz, Penny. I landed on an empty WordPress site and went back to one of your old comments to find you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for reading and commenting, Iain. You are right; the text of the story certainly leaves open the possibility of a violent and terminal continuation. Mind you, I’d prefer to believe that big sister would give him a sound ticking off, along with his anti-psychotic meds!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for the very kind comment, Jenne. On the whole I avoid stories with a twist in favour of narrative and description. On this occasion, though, the location struck me as being very ambiguous. I know an alley in Tokyo very like it, and it has an air of menace even though it’s perfectly safe. The twist just reflects this ambiguity

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your detailed and encouraging comment, Brenda. I’m glad the story engaged you. You’re right that Midori had a big responsibility in taking care of her brother. She was also the breadwinner, owning and running the little bar to which Murumatsu fled.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your kind comment, Tannille. I like your description of the twist as a change of perspective. In fact, the idea for the story came from the resemblance of the prompt to an alley in Tokyo – Piss Alley, it’s called. It’s a very narrow thoroughfare lined with micro-eateries and tiny bars. At night it can feel quite frightening, but it’s actually perfectly safe. The change of perspective was to try to capture something of this ambiguity.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. The thing about psychotics and meds is when they take the meds they feel better and then think they don’t need to take them anymore. It’s a vicious merry-go-round. I love the twist at the end of your story.

    Liked by 1 person

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