Friday Fictioneers – Imprisoned?

Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story, based on a photoprompt, with a beginning, middle and end, in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and include the Photoprompt and Inlinkz on your page. Link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!

FF - Imprisoned 200115

PHOTO PROMPT © J HARDY CARROLL

Imprisoned?

Stirred by the early-morning chill in the air, Neil wandered to the far end of the garden. In the biodome, amaryllis flowers seared crimson in the winter sunshine.

“I don’t think I’ll work on my poetry today, Mother. I’ll walk to Grantchester, and have a pub lunch.”

“It’s cold, dear. You’ll have to wrap up warm. I’ll make you a cup of tea before you go.”

“Thank you, I’d enjoy that.”

Absent-mindedly, Neil wandered indoors, sat down at his desk and picked up his pen.

His mother’s care imprisoned him, but, like the biodome, sheltered him so he could bloom.

InLinkz – click here to join in!

61 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Imprisoned?”

    • Dear Rochelle
      Thank you for reading and commenting. As you say, there’s a paradox in how Neil is living his life. The prompt made me think of the way you can grow tender plants in a biodome, which would never flourish in a more hostile environment outdoors. It was a good prompt – thank you!
      Shalom
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear CE
      Thank you for reading and for your nice comment. I think I agree with your advice about going to the pub – but occasionally mothers really do know best!
      With very best wishes
      Penny

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  8. I was thinking, like Keith that there must be a middle way.
    It’s like so many kids (I realise Keith is an adult, but still) are so over-protected that when they hit the real world, they are unprepared. It’s done out of love but…

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  9. Her hold on her son is subtle but very strong. He wants more freedom, but finds it easier to just go write poetry. Beware, all mothers. You may win a battle, but you’ll lose the war if you don’t let them go.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Linda
      Thank you for reading and for your wise comments. Yes, mother’s hold over Neil is strong. And I agree with your warning to mothers (and fathers!). Our job is to teach our kids to fly. Where they choose to go is their business.
      With love
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Poetry and Grantchester put me in mind of Rupert Brooke, until I read your character’s name. One of my favourite poems. And yes, there was a ‘smotherly’ feeling running through this. Well done.

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    • Dear Sandra
      Thank you for reading and commenting so kindly. I’m pleased you picked up on the resonances of Grantchester. It’s near Cambridge, of course, which could be considered a hothouse rather like the biodome.
      With very best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Liz
      Thank you for reading and commenting. He certainly might write better poetry if he broke free. On the other hand, he might have a breakdown. Are there are some intellects that need a hothouse, I wonder?
      With very best wishes
      Penny

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  18. Ooh, you’ve woven this so cleverly, Penny. That balance between love and control, nurturing and smothering. Very well portrayed relationship, very delicately done. I’m afraid many of us mothers are like this with our sons – I wonder if I’ll be the same with mine? Fabulous

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    • Dear Lynn
      Thank you for reading and for your very kind comments. I’m delighted you thought I portrayed the relationship well; I try to put character at the heart of my fiction.
      I don’t think you’ll smother your son, Lynn – I get the impression you’re a very grounded person!
      With very best wishes
      Penny

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      • I live that you put character at the centre of your work – it’s why it always has such heart. And as far as my son goes, hopefully I’ve learned through seeing what some other mothers do, that you’re kids are more likely to keep you at arms length the more you try to keep them tired to you. We all need our independence, don’t we?

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    • Dear Andi
      Thank you for reading and commenting. You’re absolutely right. Our kids fly the nest, and we watch with trepidation as they drink too much (ie more than we would), have unwise affairs (ie we don’t like their choice of partner) etc!
      With very best wishes
      Penny

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  24. This is wonderful, Penny. A perfect comparison of love on the brink of too much and wanting to be cared for, also on the brink of too much. Love and caring is always a cage. If the door is kept open, it can be a well-loved containment, to come back to again and again.

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    • Dear Gabi
      Thank you for reading and for your kind comment. This story has produced comments that show a broad spectrum of feeling for what constitutes the ideal balance between love and dependency. It’s fascinating when one gets feedback like that – and thank you for your contribution.
      With very best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Francine
      Thank you for reading and for your sympathetic analysis of the story’s theme. I think you are right that he needs to leave if he is to truly blossom. To express adult emotions he must experience them, and his relationship with his mother will make that quite difficult, I think.
      With very best wishes
      Penny

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