Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story with a beginning, middle and end in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and include the Photoprompt and Inlinkz (the blue frog) on your page. Link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!
PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz
We will remember them
Liz glanced at the clock. Fifteen minutes before her grandson, Oliver, was due to arrive.
She shuffled through the photographs until she found a small, square, monochrome print. Her brother Peter. She had snatched the shot as he entrained for the front in 1940.
Liz shook her head. Peter’s image seemed imprisoned by the margin. The severity of his mouth was belied by his apprehensive eyes.
What else did she have that she could pass on to Oliver?
A single page letter in Peter’s beautiful handwriting. A cutting from the local press, after…
A tear trickled down Liz’s cheek.
The doorbell rang.
A moving story, Penny. I think it would be more powerful if you established some link between the brother and the grandson so we understand why she’s making these gifts
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Dear Neil
Thank you for reading and for your thoughtful and constructive comment. I see what you mean, I think. There are two stories; Peter’s (boards train, goes to France, is killed and his death is reported in the local press; and Oliver’s (comes to his Gran’s house, collects promised photographs) A link between Oliver and Peter would round out Oliver’s story more satisfactorily and link the two stories together. Thanks for the advice!
With very best wishes
Penny
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I’m sure I’d find some sad memories if I started going through my old photos. I’m sure Oliver will appreciate a glimpse into his extended family, though.
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Dear Ali
Thank you for reading and commenting. Photos are good at evoking memories both sad and glad, that’s for sure.
With very best wishes
Penny
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That generation never seemed to pass on these stories from the wars, mine certainly didn’t. I wonder if we sould be in a kinder world today if more of their stories had been shared. Good story Penny.
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Dear Iain
Thank you for reading and commenting. I wonder whether the passing on of memories depends upon how bad the memories were? My parents were too young to fight in WW2, but they lived through it as children. My mother has described vividly what it was like to watch the Battle of Britain from the ground, under the fighting aircraft. On the other hand, my maternal grandfather served in the medical corps as a stretcher bearer throughout WW1. He only spoke to me once, very briefly, about the experience. I got the impression that it was too appalling to wish to call to mind.
A kinder world would be nice, though. Let’s keep trying for it!
With very best wishes
Penny
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Peter’s image seemed imprisoned by the margin. The severity of his mouth was belied by his apprehensive eyes. Yes!!! I love these two lines. You captured a young man leaving for war so vividly!
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Dear Lish
Thank you for reading and for your very kind comment.
Yes!!! I was particularly pleased with the two lines you highlight! Thank you so much for mentioning them.
With very best wishes
Penny
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My pleasure!
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Dear Penny,
My mother kept a scrapbook when my father was overseas in WWII. I harbor hopes of finding it in the recesses of our cellar. I loved reading their letters and seeing the silly sketches my dad sent to my mom. Lovely legacy she’s passing on to Oliver. Very touching story, my friend. One worthy of lengthening and fleshing out.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
Thank you for reading and for your kind comment. I hope you find the scrapbook in the cellar some day soon.
I laughed when I read your suggestion that the story is one worth lengthening and fleshing out, because the three characters, Liz, Oliver and Peter are from my novel “Mrs Nightingale’s Song”. There is a scene involving old photographs in the novel, although it’s quite a different story.
I confess, I wondered whether you’d guessed that!
Shalom
Penny
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Reading many of the contributions this week, your story confirms how we seemed to have failed to preserve our family history. What happened to the old records families once kept – now everyone records their lives on the Internet for everyone to see, but it is not as important as a photograph. One that provokes an emotional response – like your story. Nice.
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Dear James
Thank you for reading and commenting. I confess that my family has not been good about archiving photographs. For myself, I’m trying to make sure the digital photos are at least preserved on an external hard drive. It was kind of you to say that my story provokes an emotional response – thank you.
With very best wishes
Penny
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The sadness of war comes over so well, in my family we have such memories, far to many still face such trauma each new day
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Dear Michael
Thank you for reading and commenting. I fear we will always have such trauma until people refuse to take up weapons to fight for a cause or a country.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Two stories in one. I can’t help but wonder what Oliver’s reaction was. Sadness, pride? A beautifully written piece Penny.
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Dear Keith
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m delighted that you spotted it was two stories in one. In my novel from which these three characters were taken, Oliver’s reaction was delight and satisfaction, because he was an artist collating a record of family portraits. However, he was also conscious of the significance of the photo to Liz.
With very best wishes
Penny
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I enjoyed reading this small excerpt from your novel. It will be a page turner.
I loved all the characters especially Oliver. My grandsons name. : )
The story touches the heart, Penny.
Isadora 😎
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Dear Isadora
Thank you for reading and commenting. How kind of you to suggest my novel will be a page turner! I’m glad it moved you.
With very best wishes
Penny
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so so sad. crumbs to a soul looking for connection to an unreachable parent.
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Dear Jade
Thank you for reading and commenting.
With best wishes
Penny
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You are very welcome, Penny.
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Lovely story, Penny… sometimes all we have left to jar our memories are the photos.
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Dear Dale
Thank you for reading and commenting. Photographs can be so powerful, can’t they? It’s a shame though when they’re all we have left of a loved one.
With very best wishes
Penny
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It is…
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A lot of emotional backstory in this piece, Penny. I’m sure she’ll choose the right information to give her grandson. Well done. —- Suzanne
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Dear Suzanne
Thank you for reading and commenting. I think you’re right that Liz will find the right things to say to Oliver – there’s a strong bond between the two of them.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Nice.
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Dear Dawn
Thank you for reading and commenting.
With best wishes
Penny
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Lovely and sad too. Lovely that the memory of Peter will be carried forward, sad that the loss is still so great for her. I do hope Oliver realises the responsibility he’s taking on, being entrusted with those Photos. Lovely story, Penny
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Dear Lynn
Thank you very much for reading and commenting. In my novel “Mrs Nightingale’s Song,” from which the characters come, Oliver is an artist who is collating family photographic portraits for use in a piece of conceptual art. He gains a keen appreciation of his responsibility while talking to Liz.
With very best wishes
Penny
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My pleasure. Sounds like an interesting story Penny
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This is lovely. Thanks you.
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