Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story, based on a photoprompt, with a beginning, middle and end, in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!
Photoprompt © J Hardy Carroll
Window on the Heavens
At first I was frightened.
The fall had concussed me. My hip hurt like hell, and I couldn’t stand up – couldn’t even crawl.
My children had told me I should always carry my phone, but I’ve never taken good advice.
I tried calling for help. My voice sounded strange, feeble and quavering. Nobody came.
Soon it was dark. Starshine crept in through the skylight. So did the cold. I shook.
The pain was subsiding. My mind felt strangely lucid. I was going to die, here, on my kitchen floor. I watched the glorious, terrible darkness through the window above…
Autumn Leaves 
“glorious, terrible darkness” is a great piece of wordsmithing. I liked her lucid calm at the end
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Neil
Thank you for reading and for your kind comments. You really “got” what I wanted to convey. The narrator had come to terms with her mortality many years before and had realized that a fall was a likely outcome of staying independent. Despite the pain she was at peace.
LikeLike
Good take.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Bear
Thank you for reading and commenting.
With very best wishes
Penny
LikeLiked by 1 person
A terrifying ordeal, and such a shame when one loses their independence in this way too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Iain
Thank you for reading and for your kind comments.
With very best wishes
Penny
LikeLiked by 1 person
That made me shiver. My mother had three falls in the past two weeks, and if she hadn’t been wearing her alarm button she might have lain there all night too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Liz
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m sorry your mother has fallen. What a blessing these alarm buttons are! I hope she recovers quickly.
With very best wishes
Penny
LikeLike
Point of view in the literal sense is everything this week. This story is hard for me to read, having spent the last three months watching the struggle, in the wake of a near-fatal period of aloneness, following a fall…but well captured Penny, as usual. Though filled with despair…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Andi
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m so sorry you’ve had such a sad experience watching someone struggling after a fall. I hope they are now recovering.
I hadn’t intended despair. The narrator had come to terms with her mortality years before and had realized that a fall was the likely price of continuing independence. She was in pain but at peace.
With very best wishes
Penny
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Penny things are much better now!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m very glad to hear that, Andi!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Isn’t it interesting how so many of us went that way? I think it is the vantage point, along with the reality that kitchen and bathrooms often hold the greatest chance for slip-n-fall and for the potentially tragic aftermath.
Nicely painted in words, my friend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Na’ama
Thank you for reading and for your kind comment. Yes, the prompt does seem to have pushed the stories in the direction of a fall. I found the kitchen utensils hanging overhead were quite vertiginous.
With very best wishes
Penny
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah! Me, too (re: the vertiginous viewpoint of the swirling utensils …)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dying alone while injured is a terrifying situation to be in. By introducing little ‘positive’ phrases here and there like ‘starshine” (Just wonderful!) you took us from her fearfulness into her lucid calm at the end.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Fatima
Thank you for reading and for your kind comments. I’m so glad you mentioned the positive phrases – it’s so helpful to know when a technical device has worked!
With very best wishes
Penny
LikeLiked by 1 person
At least he or she has accepted their fate; better that than panic. A tragic tale indeed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Keith
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, the narrator has accepted her fate and is consciously experiencing life as long as possible. From some viewpoints that’s a good way to go.
With very best wishes
Penny
LikeLiked by 1 person
Its a matter of making the most of what remains and not feeling sorry for oneself. Thanks Penny.
LikeLike
Very powerful in such a short piece, Penny…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Felipe
Thank you for reading, and for your very kind comment. I’m glad you feel the story is powerful.
With very best wishes
Penny
LikeLiked by 1 person
Powerful story that evokes anxiety in me. Hopefully someone intervenes before she joins the “terrible darkness.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Jade
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you found the story powerful, (although I’m sorry to have caused you anxiety).
With best wishes
Penny
LikeLiked by 1 person
Penny, you are very welcome.
LikeLike
Chilling words. Great capture of a situation that happens too often. I hope help comes!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Tannille
Thank you for reading and commenting. It would be nice if such accidents never happened, but, do you know? If I had to risk dying like that in order to retain my independence, I would take the risk.
With very best wishes
Penny
LikeLiked by 1 person
A terrifying situation (anxiety inducing!) but I’m glad she was at peace.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Kelley
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, you’re right, the narrator was at peace.
With very best wishes
Penny
LikeLike
It is a sad reality for many.
Beautifully penned, Penny!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Dale
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m afraid you’re right that this happens to many people. Still, given the choice between risking this and losing my independence, I would pick the risk of falling every time – wouldn’t you?
With very best wishes
Penny
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely!
LikeLike
Dear Penny,
What a tragic way to go. I found myself hoping she’d be rescued at the end. Wonderfully well written.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Rochelle
Thank you for reading and for your very kind comment. I’m flattered that you were sufficiently moved to hope she would be rescued.
Shalom
Penny
LikeLike
This is the end of so many old people… falling at home, where you should be safe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Bjorn
Thank you for reading and commenting. Safety is relative – as I become more infirm I know I will have to balance safety with living independently; and we all have to die sometime…
With very best wishes
Penny
LikeLike
A beautifully written experience of facing one’s death, knowing there will be no one to help. That moment of lucidity must be startling, to say the least.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Linda
Thank you for reading and for your perceptive comments. ‘Startling’ is an excellent description of the narrator’s experience of that moment of lucidity.
With very best wishes
Penny
LikeLiked by 1 person
Problem of fragile bones is becoming all too common. You should have carried a phone. It is not easy to shout out for help, when one is in pain.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Abhijit
Thank you for reading and commenting. The narrator had accepted her mortality, and felt that this was a satisfactory way to die. There was no lingering, no years of helpless dependence on others, just the chance to reflect lucidly on the conclusion of her life. (To avoid ambiguity, this was definitely accident and not suicide).
With very best wishes
Penny
LikeLike
Very good. Connects with many people either for themselves or others.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Oneta
Thank you for reading and commenting.
With best wishes
Penny
LikeLike
Great description, Penny. I remember when they first came out with those alarms for the elderly. I use a walker and am very careful. My balance is poor and my back not good. If not for the walker I wouldn’t be able to move around. Living where I do I can afford a caregiver. There’s no lift in this older building though, but they’re going to move us temporarily and rebuild. —- Suzanne
LikeLike
OMG this is a terror of mine, falling and alone, not found for days. Beautifully written.
LikeLike