“What Pegman saw” is a weekly challenge based on Google Streetview. Using the location provided, you must write a piece of flash fiction of no more than 150 words. You can read the rules here. You can find today’s location on this page, from where you can also get the Inlinkz code. This week’s prompt is Angola.
Image by mdccruz01 from Pixabay
Nkosi
The first thing that struck me about the man was his size. His voice matched his physique, resonant, ringing like music as he spoke to us of justice, of freedom. My heart beat faster as I realised that here was a man who could change things. I had to know more!
Over the following months I attended half a dozen meetings. The message was always the same, reverberating within me like the thunder of war drums.
One evening he walked over to me.
“You wish to join me.”
I couldn’t hold his gaze, and bowed my head.
“Yes, Nkosi.”
He frowned.
“We do not use such titles. Ours is a brotherhood. Come.”
In time, he drew me into the inner circle, teaching me how diamonds funded the cause, how warriors were trained in the jungle.
The date of liberation is near.
It is time for action by the Portuguese, my paymasters.
Feels like you dug deep in Angolan history here, Penny. I hadn’t realised that Portuguese is still the main language there or that some people prefer to use Portuguese names over African ones. Colonialism still holds some sway there, I suppose. Love your Nkosi – he sounds like a terrifically charismatic man
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Dear Lynn
Thank you for reading and commenting. Recent Angolan history (by which I mean about the last sixty years) has been very bloody and factional, and it’s only just recovering. I fear for the future though.
With very best wishes
Penny
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The histories of so many countries could be described as the same. It takes real force of will to move on from atrocities and heal fractures
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Ominous setup. Really well done.
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Dear Josh
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you found the set up ominous.
With very best wishes
Penny
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enjoyed your angle with the relevant Portuguese connection.
and I felt quite involved with this realistic fiction piece – esp by the time I reached this: “couldn’t hold his gaze, and bowed my head.”
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Dear Prior
Thank you for reading, and for your thoughtful comments. Concrit like this is really valuable, and I’ve learned a lot from it.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Great play on charisma, power, danger, need, belonging, possibility.
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Dear Na’ama
Thank you for reading and for your very kind comments.
With very best wishes
Penny
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🙂 My pleasure!
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Great to see you Penny! Enjoyed this beautifully written story. My favorite part was how the narrator’s longing and admiration pulls him inexorably closer to Nkosi.
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Dear Karen
Thank you for reading and for your kind words. I’ve been busy editing “The Owl on the Pergola” and have finally brought it to a state that I feel is worth submitting to agents. My first submission went in on Monday!
Yes, the narrator was greatly drawn to the charismatic central figure – but he betrayed him even so. Human nature is endlessly fascinating, isn’t it?
With very best wishes
Penny
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Congrats on your first submission & the best wishes on your query journey.
Human nature is endlessly fascinating for sure!
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