“What Pegman saw” is a weekly challenge based on Google Streetview. You can read the rules here. You can find today’s location on this page, from where you can also get the Inlinkz code.
The Lighthouse Keeper’s Wife
My tent slapped like the sail of a gybing yacht as I pitched up within sight of the North Head lighthouse. There was moisture in the air. It tasted salty, and left a film on my spectacles. Waves hurled themselves against the rocks below the lighthouse with a power that was simultaneously exhilarating and appalling.
The wind and waves were my lullaby that night.
I awoke at about one o’clock.
Somebody was sobbing, gasping sobs of desperate distress. I pulled on waterproofs, seized my torch and went out into the gale. There was a wail up ahead, and I saw her, running pell-mell towards the cliffs.
“Stop,” I yelled.
She turned, saw me and shrieked with terror. Panic-stricken, she turned to flee.
“No!” I screamed.
Too late. She plunged over the cliff, plummeting out of sight.
I called 911, but the police found nothing.
“Mary Pesonen’s ghost,” they told me.
Scary twist at the end! But my favorite part is all the sensory details in the first paragraph. I could feel and taste the setting, very nice.
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Dear Joy
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed the sensory details.
With very best wishes
Penny
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I must chime in with Joy–great evocative descriptions. I enjoyed them not only for the sensory impact, but the voice. I also like the way the word choice revealed subtle details about the character. Love a good ghost story!
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Dear Karen
Thank you for reading and commenting so kindly. I’m particularly pleased that you enjoyed the voice, as I worked quite hard to achieve it.
Thank you for the prompt; I was hoping for a location that would allow me to write a ghost/horror story, and you duly obliged!
With very best wishes
Penny
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How perfect! I’m glad I came through for you 🙂
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Just love those opening paragraphs, Penny, that sense of being there, being in the sea and of the sea, the sounds and smells. Love that twisty ending too. Wish it was longer though! Am fascinated by the lifestyle of lighthouse keepers, that intense isolation, those men living on top of each other, away from society for weeks at a time. Great setting. Lovely work, Penny
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Dear Lynn
Thank you for reading and for such kind comments. You’re right that the story needs to be longer – there needs to be time to build tension, to make the denouement more shocking. The MC needs to seem to have a chance of saving the woman.
With very best wishes
Penny
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There was no criticism in my comment, Penny. Only that I wanted to read more! Though you’re right, tension’s hard to build in so few words. Look forward to reading a longer version if you decide to write it 🙂
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Dear Lynn
I saw nothing in your comment that was not very constructive – I was agreeing that the story would be more powerful if I’d had more words. You need time to build tension!
Very best wishes
Penny
xxx
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Yes, tension is a difficult one in small word counts. I entered a ghost story competition a few months back that was only around 100 words. Difficult to build unease in that short span.
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A very sensual ghost story. I love how the opening paragraph shows a great deal of turmoil in the wind and waves, yet turn into a nighttime lullaby. Beautifully rendered tale.
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Dear Lish
Thank you for reading and for your generous comments. I’m glad you felt the story was sensual.
With very best wishes
Penny
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