Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story, based on a photoprompt, with a beginning, middle and end, in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and include the Photoprompt and Inlinkz (the blue frog) on your page. Link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!
PHOTO PROMPT © Jean L. Hays
No Go Zone
Jessie’s boys knew not to go past the barbed wire. They’d trespassed there once. Within two minutes, a police van and six officers had removed them, and returned them to their parents with a warning letter. Their dad had taken his belt to them for that.
It wasn’t as though there weren’t other places to play. The park in the village, or, a short bus ride away, a beach, or, slightly further, a town with a bowling alley and a cinema.
Still, Jessie couldn’t help worrying. Beyond the hilltop were three concrete domes, soldiers – and a shoot to kill policy.
A harsh but hopefully effective punishment.
‘Retribution’, my short story.
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Dear Keith
Thank you for reading and commenting. As parents we sometimes overstep the mark when our kids’ safety is at stake, don’t we?
With best wishes
Penny
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We’ve all done it I’m sure!
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unfortunately kids, as people of all ages, tend to be curiouser than they should. Better they should get a belt to the butt than whatever may await them over there
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Dear Larry
Thank you for reading and commenting. Did a belt to the butt ever deter you from adventure? The forbidden often has a greater lure for boys, don’t you think?
With best wishes
Penny
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I can’t remember ever having gotten a physical~always metaphorical~belt to the butt, but nothing much ever seemed to have deterred me from getting into trouble, if I was determined enough. Alas, now I’m the adult version of that ,too
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Ample room for all kinds of conspiracy theories to flourish in the community. I really liked the mystery and threat in this
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Dear Neil
Thank you – you just made my day! The disruptive effect high security establishments have on the local community was what was in my mind.
With very best wishes
Penny
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I like the way you keep the mystery through the whole story. So we have to guess what’s going on with the three domes. Most atmospheric.
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Dear Francine
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you were intrigued by the three domes. They were inspired by the radomes at Fylingdales which were part of NATO’s distant early warning system (the DEW line). They were designed to detect attacks from the communist bloc and naturally were high security and stringently guarded. The photoprompt reminded me of the countryside around the radomes.
With best wishes
Penny
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They might need to put up something more than just barbed wire if their trigger fingers are so filled with tension. Kids want to explore. Kids get hurt, or die, just holding a bag of skittles.
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Dear Stuart
Thank you for reading and commenting. There were other deterrents before you reached soldiers using lethal force…but, of course, 100 words precluded their description!
With best wishes
Penny
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What’s inside those domes would be my question, but it might be too dangerous to find out! Good story Penny.
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Dear Iain
Thank you for reading and commenting. The original inspiration for the concrete spheres are the radomes at Fylingdales. The countryside is similar to the photoprompt.
With best wishes
Penny
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Forbidden fruits are sweeter and the boyz want to go where they are restricted.
https://ideasolsi65.blogspot.com/2019/05/barbed-fence.html
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Dear Kalparna
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, that’s what Jessie is afraid of. Dad would have done better to explain to the boys why they should avoid trespassing on the Establishment’s land…
With best wishes
Penny
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It would feel like living in prison, under constant surveillance. I’m sure the boys learned that whatever was out there was more than an idol threat, but they are still curious. I would be, too.
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Dear Linda
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, establishments like this must have a very restrictive influence on the surrounding community. BTW the domes are long distance radar to detect missiles as early as possible after launch.
With very best wishes
Penny
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might be time to move.
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Dear Sascha
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Yeah, I’d want to move, too. Unfortunately, dad works at the establishment…
With best wishes
Penny
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😦
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Sometimes I wonder if we are doing a disservice to our kids by not telling them our worries. Not that that guarantees they won’t go snooping anyway…
Well done, leaving us wondering!
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Dear Dale
Thank you for reading and commenting. I think you’re right about giving kids too little explanation. I’ve watched my son bring up his two girls, and ever since they were tiny he’s treated them as rational beings. On the rare occasions he needs them to do as they’re told, they will accept restrictions because he explains why and they’re used to working like that. It impresses the hell out of me, I must say…!
With best wishes
Penny
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That is wonderful, Penny!
You raised him right…
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Boys and curiosity will never be separated.
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Dear James
Thank you for reading and commenting. Thank goodness that boys and curiosity can’t be separated! Life without curiosity would be dull!
With best wishes
Penny
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Seems Jessie has reason to worry. What’s on the other side of the hilltop. And, maybe the father knows. That’s why his punishment was so harsh. An intriguing story with lots of options!
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Dear Brenda
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you found the story intriguing!
With best wishes
Penny
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There’s nothing like a barrier to ignite a child’s mind. “Can’t go there!” “Watch me.” You caught that in your intriguing tale.
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Dear Lish
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you felt the emotional truth of the tale.
With best wishes
Penny
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An intriguing and mysterious story. More questions arise on why they cannot leave this area they are confined to.
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Dear Subroto
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad the story raised questions in your mind.
With best wishes
Penny
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A good many boys are adventurous. I think a scary story would work better than physical punishment. They need to be kept busy somehow. A good story with great description, Penny —- Suzanne
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Dear Suzanne
Thank you for reading and commenting. I agree that talking to the boys is more likely to be effective. We wouldn’t want boys not to be adventurous, but they have to have boundaries carefully explained, I think!
With best wishes
Penny
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The contrast between the park, beach and the policy of shooting to kill is to me even more chilling. To me this is truly dystopian.
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Dear Bjorn
Thank you for reading and commenting. Dystopian – yes – and can you think of a single state that doesn’t hide its deepest secrets behind a shoot to kill policy?
With best wishes
Penny
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Dear Penny,
Sometimes we overreact out of fear, don’t we? I think Jessie’s boy’s need to know exactly why they need to stay away from the domes. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
Thank you for reading and commenting. You’re right that we overreact through fear. Sometimes our fears are justified, alas.
Enjoy your trip to Israel!
Shalom
Penny
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In this case, curiosity could indeed kill. Great write!
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A mother’s worst fear would be to have a place like this nearby.
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As a mother, you scared me with this one.
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