“What Pegman saw” is a weekly challenge based on Google Streetview. You can read the rules here. You can find today’s location on this page, from where you can also get the Inlinkz code. This week’s location is Radium Springs, GA.
The Loser
How long had he been sitting here by the pool?
It must have been hours since he left the casino. The Grand Hall had thronged with visitors, showing off under the glittering chandeliers. In smoky anterooms small groups of obsidian-eyed men had played poker – serious poker for serious money. Palatial bedrooms upstairs catered for those who preferred their risks to have a more tangible and immediate reward.
The casino’s chandeliers were extinguished, and the light that had sneaked through chinks in the shutters had gone. It was pitch black, and the rain hammered down. It drenched Tom’s tuxedo, ran down his trousers, spilled from the turn-ups.
Despite the raindrops crazing its surface, the pool glowed faintly blue from its radium content. What would drowning feel like, he wondered?
He was so lost in thought that he didn’t hear the woman until she spoke.
“Come home, Tom. You’ll catch your death.”
Autumn Leaves 
That last line in the first paragraph knocked me over! Now that is perfection in writing. Bravo!!
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Dear Violet
Thank you for reading and commenting so kindly.
With very best wishes,
Penny
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a bad addiction….gambling!
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Dear anie
Thank you for reading and commenting. You are so right about gambling being a bad addiction.
With very best wishes
Penny
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This is brilliant, Penny. Enjoyed every lovely word and phrase and the story and sentiment they impart. I do hope he comes out of the rain for good.
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Dear Karen
Thank you for reading and for your very kind comments. I, too, hope that he comes out of the rain for good.
With very best wishes
Penny
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This is really excellent. Sometimes a kind word is all it takes.
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Dear Josh
Thank you for reading and commenting. You’re right that a kind word can sometimes save a life. In retrospect I should perhaps have given my story the title “Lucky Man”…
With best wishes
Penny
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Lovely description and verb usage in this one Penny! Obsidian eyes, water spilling from the turn-ups or cuffs as we call them here, the glow of the ponds. I love the way you used “crazed” as a verb as well.
I think you might want to consider saying “was thronged with” or “had been thronged with” only because the crowds rather than the building are doing the thronging, and “catered to” sounds better to my ears, but that may be a regionalism.
Love the homey phrasing at the end and its double-entendre. Excellent!
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Dear Andi
Thank you for reading and for your kind and detailed comments. You’re absolutely right about ‘thronged’ – I have used it incorrectly; my bad! I’m so pleased you noticed the homey phrasing and double-entendre of the final sentence. They’re the emotional contrast with the casino crowds, intended to make the emotional/moral point that Tom’s wife is rescuing him from spiritual death as well as physical death.
Thank you!
With very best wishes
Penny
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The scene setting is so atmospheric, Penny. Kudos. And Tom’s regret is clear, as is the woman’s kindness. So well captured. In so few words. Great dialogue. Really enjoyed this.
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Dear Kelvin
Thank you for reading and for your kind comments. It’s one of those stories that owes a great deal to technique rather than inspiration. After 45 minutes thinking about and researching the prompt, I felt uninspired, so I drew a word web on a piece of paper. Within five minutes it gave me the stark contrast between winners and losers as the theme. But of course the story is actually not about winning or losing – it’s about redemption, as I’m sure you spotted.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Well, a good piece!
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