NaNoWriMo is over for this year, and I’m delighted to have succeeded in writing 50,000 words of a novel in the month. I’m now trying to continue at the same pace until the first draft is finished.
However, this week the siren voice of Friday Fictioneers has lured me into the shoals of flash fiction, especially as Rochelle has picked such an evocative photoprompt from Dawn. Thank you to both of you!
PHOTO PROMPT © Dawn M. Miller
Escape
If Saaburah had looked back, she would have seen a smudge of smoke on the horizon where her house had once stood, but she didn’t look back.
If she had listened to her memories, she would have heard gunfire, screams, and the roar of fire as her family and friends were slaughtered, but she didn’t listen to her memories.
With her baby swaddled against her breast, she had walked towards the border, at first alone, then with a few others, then with a multitude.
Filthy, exhausted, frightened, they streamed across the railway bridge into Bangladesh, homeless, stateless.
Alive.
Will that country accept the incoming people?Is it escape or bondage? only time will tell.
https://ideasolsi65.blogspot.com/2018/12/journey.html
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Dear Kalpana
Thank you for reading and commenting. You ask good questions, and, as you say, only time will tell.
With very best wishes
Penny
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I liked the structure of this, Penny. Very nicely done.
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Dear Sandra
Thank you for reading and for the helpful comment. Working intensively on my novel has sharpened my appreciation of structure, I think! I’m glad you enjoyed the story.
With very best wishes
Penny
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That’s strong, Penny. And brave to tackle this story. I think you managed it without being guilty of cultural appropriation
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Dear Neil
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you thought it was a strong story.
With best wishes
Penny
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Powerful story of survival. Good luck on finishing the novel now, and well done on completing NaNoWriMo.
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Dear Iain
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you thought the story was powerful. And thanks, too, for your good wishes for the novel…
With very best wishes
Penny
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I’m sure her memories will come back to haunt her, but at least she’s safe for now.
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Dear Ali
I’m sure you’re right that her memories will haunt her. Safe for now – but to what lengths will she be driven by the imperative need to feed her child?
With very best wishes
Penny
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I am in awe of the strength she must have needed to put everything aside except for the will to keep putting one foot in front of the other, until she and her baby could find someplace she thought was safe. May her hope for safety and peace not be in vain.
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Dear Kestril
Thank you for reading and commenting.
It’s astonishing how refugees, especially those with children, find the will and the strength escape to safety. It’s to the shame of the rest of us that we allow such things to happen in our world. As you say, “May her hope for safety and peace not be in vain.”
With very best wishes
Penny
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Welcome back. Wow, I’m impressed. Keep going! 🙂 Well written and powerful story of survival. Sadly, so many such stories in this world.
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Dear Brenda
Thank you for reading and commenting. I agree that it’s sad there are so many stories like this in reality. We must all do what we can to change the injustice and violence that leads to people having to flee from their homes.
With very best wishes
Penny
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So that’s where you’ve been! Kudos on completely NaNo!
And the horror she leaves behind in her attempt to change her circumstances… It is best she not look back. Well done, Penny.
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Dear Dale
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, I been gone done NaNo – thank you for your kind congratulations! I agree that it’s best not to look back on horror; must be very hard to achieve though.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Completing. Not completely (though… 😉)
It must be agonizing…
Have a great day!
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at least, they made it across the border. that’s a good start considering the circumstances.
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Dear Plaridel
As you suggest, Saaburah and her child have many trials ahead, but, at least for now, they’re safe.
With best wishes
Penny
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This is beautifully emotive. Great job. Congrats on NaNoWriMon too. Completed it too. Lots of coffee! Best of luck with the piece you’ve began creating.
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Dear Lisa
Thank you for reading and for the nice comment. I’m glad you found the story emotive. Congratulations to you, too, on being a NaNoWriMo winner! Best of luck with your work, too. If your aim is publication, then I hope you succeed.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Thank you.
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I love the contrast between the struggles in the first two paragraphs and the warmth and security of the baby in the third. Well done.
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Dear Lish
Thank you for reading and commenting. We do all we can to shelter and protect our children, don’t we?
With very best wishes
Penny
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Hello Penny, wow, well done with your 50K – and your FF piece is so powerful, written in a very unusual way i.e. telling the story by showing us her defiance in the face of her memories. Best wishes, Jilly.
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Dear Jilly
Thank you for reading and for your very astute and helpful comment. I agree that “Telling the story by showing us her defiance in the face of her memories.” is exactly why the story is powerful – but I hasn’t realised that before! So I’m really grateful for the comment!
With very best wishes
Penny
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You’re very welcome, Penny. I personally find FF’s way of electronic workshopping is very helpful and does open up aspects that we’ve applied instinctively and not maybe instantly recognised ourselves. Best of wishes, Jilly.
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Alive – things can only get better.
Click to read my FriFic tale!
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Dear Keith
Thank you for reading and commenting. I certainly hope things improve for the refugees.
With best wishes
Penny
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happens everywhere all the time
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Dear i b arora
Thank you for reading and commenting. Sadly, you are right; it happens everywhere all the time.
With best wishes
Penny
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Violence can have terrible impact on human psyche. Yet it keeps happening at regular interval.
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Dear Abhijit
Thank you for reading and commenting. I wonder whether we’ll ever become civilised enough to avoid violence? I hope we do.
With best wishes
Penny
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Dear Penny,
Welcome back from NaNoLand. P is for powerful and poignant. Well written.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
Thank you for reading and commenting, and for the welcome back. I’m glad you found the story powerful and poignant.
With very best wishes
Penny
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That area of Asia has been in turmoil for SO long. Back and forth, Sure would be good to see a resolution.
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Dear Linda
Thank you for reading and commenting. It’s tragic that we, the human race, seem unable to avoid violence and oppression.
With best wishes
Penny
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This made me think how the world is full of the horrors from the past. For example, Partition of India was a disgrace. What horrors continue to haunt and what horrors does the future hold.
Sorry, I am being rather morbid.
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Dear James
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m sorry that my story made you feel morbid.
The partition of India caused appalling suffering that cannot be condoned, but that had more to do with long-standing religious and ethnic tensions than with partition itself. The end result has been the foundation of three democracies that appear to function successfully, which I think reflects great credit on the people who live in those countries. I have great admiration for India who seem (by and large) to be successfully holding together a huge nation with huge diversity. Hope for the future perhaps?
With very best wishes
Penny
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Such a timely story…
At that moment, I can’t blame Saaburah for not listening to her memories–misery can be exhausting when someone is running for her life. Later, when things are a bit better, she can bring those back, make sure her child doesn’t forget. Hope she gets the chance.
Love the alliteration in the end. Very effective.
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Dear Magaly
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed my choice of words at the end.
With best wishes
Penny
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Oh… the terror that has happened so recently… a disgrace for sure. But there will be those who survives, those who bear witness.
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Dear Bjorn
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, I fear that this story has played out many times in the last few months.
With very best wishes
Penny
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You show us her absolute determination to start a new life by her refusal to look back. Powerful, vivid writing.
Congratulations on reaching the 50k word count last month! All the best as you continue writing your novel.
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Dear Magarisa
Thank you for reading and commenting, and for the congratulations on NaNoWriMo. I’ve written about another 10,000 words, and I have at least that many still to write…
I’m glad you thought my story for FF was vivid.
With very best wishes
Penny
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You’re most welcome, Penny.
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Excellent piece. I am hoping you plan on continuing it. It is well worthy.
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Dear Violet
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed it, but I’m not thinking of extending it. I currently have a novel on the go, and there are months of work needed before it’s ready for me to offer to agents.
With best wishes
Penny
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Sad poignant story.
Well done.
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Dear Dawn
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed the story.
With best wishes
Penny
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That was brilliant Penny, the best FF I have read in ages, well done. 🙂
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Dear jwdwrites
Thank you for reading, and for your very flattering comment. I’m delighted that you enjoyed the story so much.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Like Sandra, I enjoyed the structure and the matter-of-fact tone. I imagine there comes a point for these poor souls when the only thing that matters is survival.
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Dear Russell
Thank you for reading and commenting. I think perhaps that single-mindedness is what enables some to survive such dreadful atrocities. The matter of fact style was intended to reflect the numbness of spirit that comes when you’ve been so terrified and traumatised that you just stop feeling.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Congratulations on your NaNoWriMo writings! She is a brave mother walking away from everything she has known for her child. I think there is always a risk when you are in her situation. I hope she and her child find safety! Great story.
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