Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story, based on a photoprompt, with a beginning, middle and end, in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and include the Photoprompt and Inlinkz (the blue frog) on your page. Link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!
PHOTO PROMPT © Jean L. Hays
Fulfilment
A peacock screeched.
Inside its pupa, a damselfly larva stirred.
Alice dabbled her hand in the pond, gazing through a haze of reflections at the coloured pebbles on the bottom.
“You look thoughtful. Not worrying about tomorrow, I hope?”
Alice smiled.
“Just nervous, Frances, that’s all.”
Frances hugged her sister.
“Silly girl! Everything will be fine.”
The damselfly’s pupa began to split.
Next day the church was full. Alice stood beside Matthew and wondered whether it was possible to feel any happier.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife.”
Beside the pond the damselfly’s wings flashed. The peacock screeched exultantly.
Dear Penny,
Interesting that we both have the night before the wedding stories. 😉 Love the visuals and metaphors in this short piece. Lovely writing as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
Thank you for reading, and for your kind comment. The picture of the woman seen through the blind made me think at first that she had a bridal train behind her, hence the ‘night before the wedding’ theme! – it also reminded me of a peacock’s tail…
With very best wishes
Penny
BTW I appreciate more and more the efforts you put into FF. You’ve made it a place where one can experiment and receive feedback, and that’s just so valuable. Thank you!
Penny
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What a wonderful sense of atmosphere, and of menace concocted of the beautiful
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Dear Neil
Thank you for reading and for your insightful comment.
With best wishes
Penny
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Beautifully written.
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Dear Jilly
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
With best wishes
Penny
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I wonder what the future holds. Excellent Penny.
Click to read my FriFic tale
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Dear Keith
Thank you for reading and commenting. I think we all wonder what the future holds when we get married…
With very best wishes
Penny
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Tell me about it!!!
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Nice doubling up of metaphor and her story. Well structured Penny.
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Dear Iain
Thank you for reading and for your helpful commenting. I’m glad the doubling up of metaphor and story worked for you. I felt the prompt was simultaneously prosaic and mysterious, and tried to capture something of that in the story.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Well, you did an excellent job.
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Ah, that was lovely. Such a fresh take on a wedding story!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Dear Susan
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m delighted you enjoyed the story.
With very best wishes
Penny
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I liked how the metaphor suggested to me that just at the moment she’s getting married she’s finding out who she is – this could work out well or not. Although the title suggested all would be good.
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Dear Claire
Thank you for reading and commenting with such insight. The implication that Alice is finding out who she is at the moment of marriage was definitely part of the story. And, yes, I think there’s every chance of a happy marriage – it’s starting well, anyway! However, as Neil mentions above, there is also a darker side to the story…
With very best wishes
Penny
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Really cool analogy here. I like the repetition. Very effective piece, Penny.
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Dear Josh
Thank you for reading and for your helpful comments. It’s great to know that the analogy and the repetition worked to make the story effective.
With best wishes
Penny
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Very musical. Nice male/female imagery (peacock, damselfly). I agree theres a sense of foreboding in the “everything will be fine, youll see” line, and in the peacock’s screech. Nicely done!
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Dear Andi
Thank you for reading and commenting so helpfully. It’s good to know what the imagery conveyed to you. I’m glad you think the writing is musical.
With best wishes
Penny
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The peacock and the damselfly sounds like a bad omen for a wedding… I wonder if she will make it out alive.
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Dear Bjorn
Thank you for reading and commenting. As you rightly guess, the damselfly and the peacock cry are symbolic. My intention was that the damselfly – which has a very short lifespan as a flying insect – represents happiness and implies that human happiness is fleeting. The peacock cries are the voices of cynics who declare that human love and happiness are fleeting, and therefore don’t matter. And, of course, peacock cries have no actual effect on events in the world…
With very best wishes
Penny
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I like your description here, which is quite lovely. I just figured the peacock ate the damselfly.
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The atmosphere is great.
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Dear Lisa
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you liked the atmosphere.
With best wishes
Penny
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I love the metaphors. Really good job of setting a mood.
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Dear Linda
Thank you for reading and for your encouraging comment. I’m glad you felt I set the mood well.
With best wishes
Penny
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Lovely use of metaphors.
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Dear Anurag
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed the use of metaphor.
With best wishes
Penny
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The repetition works very well. Almost poetic. Nicely done.
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Dear Sandra
Thank you for reading and for your helpful comment. It’s good to know that the repetition works well.
With very best wishes
Penny
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The world is full of joy and at times by design. Nicely done.
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Dear James
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed the story. You’re right – the world is full of joy.
With best wishes
Penny
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I love how you caught the sights and sounds of nature and related them to Alice’s wedding day. So nicely done.
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Dear Alicia
Thank you for reading, and for your helpful comment. It’s very useful to know what aspects of a story catch the attention of readers.
With very best wishes
Penny
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I love how you started and ended with the same phrase with a plus at the end! The metamorphosis of the damselfly with the feelings of the bride-to-be going hand in hand…
Lovely imagery.
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Dear Dale
Thank you for reading, and for your lovely comments. This was slightly experimental for me – I was trying for an emotional progression rather than an event progression – a beginning, middle and end emotionally rather than through things happening. I feel quite encouraged by the comments I’ve had.
With very best wishes
Penny
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I think you succeeded very well!
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Thank you! 🙂
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Ooh…lovely!
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Dear Britlight
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you liked the story.
With best wishes
Penny
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so well-written. one of the best i’d read this week.
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Dear Plaridel
Thank you for reading and for your complimentary comment. I’m blushing!
With best wishes
Penny
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Years ago, I wrote a haiku about a damsel fly. Perhaps that’s why I had a feeling of dread in your beautiful story:
damsel fly dances
skips along the water’s edge
flirting with demise
But your last line, with “flashed” and “exultantly” made me believe it’s a “happily-ever-after” story instead. Either way, you created a visually gorgeous story from the prompt!
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Dear Jan
Thank you for reading and for your thoughtful comments. Thank you, too, for sharing your lovely haiku.
As you rightly guess, the damselfly and the peacock cry are symbolic. My intention was that the damselfly – which has a very short lifespan as a flying insect – represents happiness and implies that human happiness is fleeting. The peacock cries are the voices of cynics who declare that human love and happiness are fleeting, and therefore don’t matter. And, of course, peacock cries have no actual effect on events in the world…
The story was slightly experimental for me – I was trying for an emotional progression rather than an event progression – a beginning, middle and end emotionally rather than through things happening. I feel encouraged by the comments I’ve had – including yours, of course. Thank you!
With very best wishes
Penny
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Imaginatively painted word picture.
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Dear Yarnspinnerr
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed the word painting.
With best wishes
Penny
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Wonderfully told. I loved your comment to Rochelle too! 🙂 Thanks for the follow.
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Dear Petru
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you liked my story. The ‘follow’ is my pleasure; I want to read more of what you write – that post of yours was so imaginative!
With best wishes
Penny
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It’s a scary thing (and risky business) entering into a new world. Nice metaphors. They conveyed the message well.
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Dear Russell
Thank you for reading and for your thoughtful comments. I appreciate the encouragement from a writer as consistently good as yourself.
With best wishes
Penny
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I love the tension of the night before the big day. You really captured that well with the sounds
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Dear Laurie
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you felt the sounds enhanced the feeling of ‘night before’ tension.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Beautifully told story of coming of age. Like the damselfly changes from larva to adult, the wedding seems to be this defining point in Alice’s life. I only hope her development doesn’t stop there.
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Dear Gabi
Thank you for reading, and for the insight of your comments. I, too, hope that her development continues (my 43 years of married life suggests that it will!).
With very best wishes
Penny
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I’m getting married very soon so this story really resonated with me! You’ve created so much vivid atmosphere in such a short tale.
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Dear Ellie
Thank you so much for your comments. It was lovely to hear that you are soon to be married. I hope it goes very well and that you share many years of joy with your spouse.
With best wishes
Penny
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Love your use of animal metaphors to show your bride’s life and emotions before and after her wedding ceremony – very clever, Penny. And a happy ending too! Lovely
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Dear Lynn
Thank you for reading, and for your thoughtful comments. I’m glad you liked the animal metaphors – and the happy ending!
With very best wishes
Penny
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I love the multiple visuals you give us and sense of slow time. This is so effective and affecting.
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Dear Sarah Ann
Thank you for reading, and for your thoughtful comments. Your use of the term ‘slow time’ is very apt. The damselfly’s emergence was indeed there to mark the stages of the emotional movement from tension to happiness. You’ve read my story very perceptively! Thank you!
With very best wishes
Penny
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A very sweet romantic tale and a cleverly employed metaphor. Well done
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Dear TRG
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you thought the tale was sweet and romantic, and enjoyed the metaphor.
With best wishes
Penny
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🙂
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Beautiful imagery, Penny. I sensed foreboding. As I mentioned above, the damselfly seemed like prey for the peacock. But, a subtle story such as yours allows for many interpretations, which is always good. 🙂
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