Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story, based on a photoprompt, with a beginning, middle and end, in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and include the Photoprompt and Inlinkz (the blue frog) on your page. Link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!
PHOTO PROMPT © Karen Rawson
The Rapist
Was he still pursuing her?
Jodie’s legs burned with fatigue and there was a knot of cold fire in her chest. She couldn’t run much further. She splashed through standing water and struggled up rotten wooden steps that flaked under her feet.
The climb all but finished her. She dashed the sweat from her eyes, looking around desperately for a place to hide. A fragment of wall fringed the path. She slipped behind it, willing silence on her gasping breaths, and drew her hunting knife.
There was a heavy thud of footsteps.
Alright.
She would end this the messy way.
What a breathless pace you set in this piece, Penny, and such a cliffhanging end. An action adventure thriller in 100 words – what more could all those die hard men out there ask for?
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Dear Kelvin
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed my action adventure thriller!
With best wishes
Penny
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Loved the last line! 🙂
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Dear Netizen
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m delighted you loved the last line. It’s intended to tell the reader that this is a confident woman who understands what she is about to do. No-one without training and experience is going to use the word ‘messy’ about ending another human life. She’s ex-military perhaps, or maybe darker than that…
With best wishes
Penny
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Precisely! 🙂
I do wish we get a whole story around this plot! 😀
And would love to read the ‘messy’ part!
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Dear Netizen
I’m afraid I have too many other plots on the go to write a fuller version of this story.
With best wishes
Penny
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No issue, Miss Gadd! 🙂
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The title gave the story new drama. But you know that
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Dear Neil
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, the title is a teeny cheat really…!
With very best wishes
Penny
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Gasping for breath myself after reading this one. Great write!
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Dear Jelli
Thank you for reading and commenting. I was out of breath writing it!
With very best wishes
Penny
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Well, judging from the title, he’s about to get exactly what he deserves…
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Dear Iain
Thank you for reading and commenting. Indeed yes. I’d be most surprised if the would-be rapist doesn’t end up dead.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Brave lass! I hope he gets his just deserts.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Dear Susan
Thank you for reading and commenting. I think it’s very likely that the would-be rapist will end up dead. He should have known better than to pursue her!
With best wishes
Penny
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Well paced and gripping. Good work
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Dear Josh
Thank you for reading, and for your very kind comment. Praise from someone as accomplished as you is praise indeed.
With very best wishes
Penny
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agin a scary and terriblestory, Penny!
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Dear anie
Thank you for reading and commenting.
This story drew on my own irrational fears. The prompt reminded me very strongly of a setting near where I used to live. Whenever I walked there – which was two or three times a week – I felt an unease, because I could often hear people but not see them. And sometimes it was clear that I was hearing a group of young men…
With best wishes
Penny
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Make it count, Jodie!
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Dear Righteousbruin
Thank you for reading and commenting. I have little doubt that Jodie will deal with her attacker appropriately.
With best wishes
Penny
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Hope she kills him. Great story.
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Dear Lisa
Thank you for reading and commenting. Jodie will kill him, but only because it’s unavoidable; he would certainly kill her if he got the upper hand. The only reason she ran was to try and avoid the need to kill.
With best wishes
Penny
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I wish her well with the resolution of the situation, however messy it may turn out to be. A great sense of suspense here, yet leaving the reader confident of a satisfactory ending.
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Dear Sandra
Thank you for reading, and for your illuminating comment. You’re very kind letting me know that you felt the suspense, but also the confidence of a satisfactory ending. That was what I intended when I used the word ‘messy’. Most people in a life-or-death situation wouldn’t describe it with the word ‘messy’; the strong inference then is that Jodie is familiar with lethal combat, and will therefore succeed in killing her assailant.
With very best wishes
Penny
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A messy end is what he deserves. A really atmospheric piece Penny.
My FriFic tale is called Solace!
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Dear Keith
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you felt the piece was atmospheric.
With best wishes
Penny
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Dear Penny,
Loved ‘cold fire’ in her chest. Tense scene that left me breathless. As for the ending, better him than her. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
Thank you very much for reading and commenting. I’m glad you found the scene tense.
Shalom
Penny
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Wow! This was breathless writing Penny. Such a strong feeling of tension throughout and the title – chilling, though we don’t know if this is his potential act or if she’s already been his victim. I can’t help but admire your MC for her courage, for stopping and fighting and taking him on. I hope she wins out. So well done Penny
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Dear Lynn
Thank you for reading and commenting so kindly. I’m glad the story evoked a sense of tension. The MC is certainly courageous. I intended the word ‘messy’ to give a clue about her nature. It’s an odd word to use about the death of another human being. The only sort of person I could imagine using the word would be someone who had actually faced life and death situations – a soldier who’d seen active service, maybe, or possibly something darker…At all events, I don’t give much for the chances of her assailant!
With very best wishes
Penny
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My absolute pleasure. Such a great story and setting. You seem to have a sense of her background – would you consider writing something longer for her?
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Thank you, Lynn. As for writing more about Jodie, I’m working on an expanded version of City Life which has the potential to become a novel. That’s exciting but time consuming!
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Ooh, that sounds very exciting! She certainly sounds like and intriguing character who would be interesting to explore and take on to other stories. Hope that goes well Penny 🙂
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Dear Lynn
Oops! I think I’ve given you the wrong idea with my reply – blame the wine I had with my evening meal!
City Life was a Friday Fictioneers flash that I posted at the beginning of April. Since then I’ve posted two longer stories and in the course of writing them I’ve become enthralled by the potential. So I’m starting work on a novel that derives from City Life. But I’m afraid that Jodie will not feature in the novel; she’s a standalone character. The more I write, the more I become aware of all the fascinating stories there are! But there’s not the time to explore them all, alas!
With very best wishes
Penny
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It is a little frustrating, isn’t it? I love my current WIP but there are so many stories to write and writing flash fiction only produces more characters, more avenues I could only explore through novels. Three lifetimes would be good 🙂
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P.S Good luck with the novel!
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Dear Lynn
Thank you for your good luck wishes – I’m currently working on the plot.
Yes, three lifetimes would be great – or maybe I should have started earlier in the single life I have!
With very best wishes
Penny
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Ha! I hear you on that one Penny. I’ve only be writing seriously for ten years, though considering a decade of creativity is behind me, I have precious little to show for it! I too wish I’d continued my early love of writing and not dropped it for so long, mistakenly believing girls who worked in retail did not produce novels. More self belief at an earlier age would have been amazing – I might even have a published novel to my name by now! At least we came to writing in the end, Penny. Better late than never.
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Oh, this man is definitely pursuing the wrong woman. I love the detail about the steps flaking under her feet and her final resolve. I can almost see her shrug, thinking, “Heck, I tried to give him a chance to get away.”
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Dear Alicia
Thank you for reading, and your lovely comments. You’ve caught her feelings exactly as I imagined them.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Oh, I almost felt she tried to “save” the rapist… maybe also saving her the trouble of a trial (self-defense).. really intense story.
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Dear Bjorn
Thank you for reading and commenting. You’re exactly right about her motives; arguing self-defence in the UK would be difficult, I think. It’s possible she would face a murder charge, and even be convicted – because she stopped and waited with a drawn blade, with the intention of killing the man.
With very best wishes
Penny
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i like the way you combined the fear, anger and defiance. Nicely done.
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Dear James
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you felt the combination of her emotions.
With best wishes
Penny
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Brilliantly done, Penny. Ironically, I just finished watching this little Canadian Mini-series called “Cardinal” and I pictured the woman running through a woods just like this one, out of breath with both of these women as they ran, lungs burning….
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Dear Dale
Thank you for reading and for your lovely comments. Running for your life is a powerful image, isn’t it?
With very best wishes
Penny
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It so is!
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This is superb. I was gasping on the run up and ready to kick ass right along with her in the end. Rooting for Jodie!
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Dear Karen
Thank you for reading, and for your lovely comments. I’m delighted the writing stirred you emotionally.
Your last comment looked as though it deserved a hashtag – made me smile! #rootingforjodie
With very best wishes
Penny
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Very intense and fast-paced. If he attacks her, he won’t know what he’s in for, and deservedly so. Good for her to be defiant. She’s not out to murder in cold blood, after all.
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Dear Gabi
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you thought the story was intense and fast-paced.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Go on Jodie show them why not to mess with you! Very nicely done Penny 🙂
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Dear Dahlia
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m rooting for Jodie too!
If you have a minute or two, I’d be grateful if you could let me know about Indian law in such a case.
You see, in the UK if Jodie stopped and drew a knife, as she does in the story, and then kills the man, it’s quite likely that she would be tried for murder and convicted. For example, some years ago an elderly man who lived alone in a remote building was burgled in the middle of the night. He hid, with a shotgun, and when the two burglars came close, he fired in their direction, hitting one and fatally wounding him. He was convicted of manslaughter and spent three years in prison.
If someone like Jodie killed a man who had threatened rape, would she be likely to be convicted of a serious crime?
With very best wishes
Penny
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I really have no clue Penny but if I were to hazard a guess it would matter a lot on the extenuating circumstances not to mention the kind of legal help she would be able to afford 🙂
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Dear Dahlia
Thank you so much for thinking about my question and replying. You make a good point when you highlight the quality of legal help she is able to afford.
With very best wishes
Penny
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You go Jodie, give him hell. Breathtaking sequence there Penny.
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Dear Anurag
Thank you for reading and commenting.
I’m glad you found the sequence exciting.
With best wishes
Penny
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A desperate ending to a racy read. Great write.
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Dear Yarnspinnerr
Thank you for reading and commenting. I like your description of it as ‘a racy read’!
With best wishes
Penny
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Such an immersive and discomforting tale. You trigger all our senses with this, and we are there running and breathless with her.
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Dear Sarah Ann
Thank you for reading and for your very kind comment. I’m glad you felt my story was immersive.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Very skilled, Penny, especially title and last line. Therefore your bigger story is clearly told in just a hundred words. Your protagonist is under terrible pressure but she can amply take care of herself. Her attacker is rightly doomed.
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Dear Jilly
Thank you for reading, and for your thoughtful comments. I’m glad the bigger story came through!
With very best wishes
Penny
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Very suspenseful, and good for her! Loved the last line – there’s the easy way, the hard way and the “messy way” 🙂
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Dear Ali
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you found it suspenseful.
With best wishes
Penny
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Good for her – he has it coming.
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Dear Liz
Thank you for reading and commenting. He certainly does!
With best wishes
Penny
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Great pacing in this one, Penny. You left me breathless too.
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Dear Russell
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed the pace of the story.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Wow, every line had me hooked! Every woman’s nightmare. I liked how she found her courage with her back against the wall.
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Dear Fatima
Thank you for reading and commenting. Being chased like that by a man would be terrifying. I’m glad Jodie is tough enough to take care of herself.
With best wishes
Penny
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I felt her fear. Well written.
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Dear Clare
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, she was frightened, but also resolute.
With best wishes
Penny
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I’m assuming that her possession a hunting knife means she knows how to use it. I hope she prevails.
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Dear Linda
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, Jodie knows how to use the knife…
With best wishes
Penny
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Penny this was really good. You built the tension and fear. My heart was thudding along with hers and could feel the fatigue. But you turned her skilfully from the hunted into the hunter. She wasn’t going to take anything from this chap chasing her. I even started to pity him in a way. No not really but I didn’t think he was going to stand a chance.
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Dear Irene
Thank you for reading and for your thoughtful comments. I’m so glad you noticed the transition from hunted to hunter. Jodie really didn’t want to kill the man, even in self-defence, so when he attempted to rape her, she ran. It was only when she couldn’t outrun him that she decided she had no alternative. And, you’re right – he doesn’t stand a chance.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Glad to see her turn this around, I hope she is successful.
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Dear Dawn
Thank you for reading and commenting. Jodie is a resolute woman; she’ll give it her best shot!
With best wishes
Penny
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