What Pegman Saw – Behind the Scenes

“What Pegman saw” is a weekly challenge based on Google Streetview. Using the location provided, you must write a piece of flash fiction of no more than 150 words. You can read the rules here. You can find today’s location on this page,  from where you can also get the Inlinkz code. This week’s prompt is Treasure Cay, Abaco, Bahamas. I struggled with this…

WPS - Behind the Scenes 180310

Behind the scenes

Clive wake me ‘bout 5 o’clock wi’ coffee, before he go to work. He a good husband.

I get ever’ting ready in the main room, den I wake Momma, take care a her needs and wheel her through.

“You be good, Momma,” I say.

I c’llect my cleanin’ kit from the office, an’ ask Queenie whether I can miss this Sat’day for a frien’s weddin’.

“You cleanin’ Miz Mitchell’s place two o’clock Sat’day. Ask her.”

I hurry through cleanin’ the em’ty condos so’s I get to Miz Mitchell’s before she go out.

“Let me see. That’s the Rawson gal getting married, yeah?”

I nod.

“I’m afraid I need you here. We’re having a dinner party, and the place must be spotless.”

Nothin’ I can say; I can’t go.

Midday. Momma need care, and dinner.

The house is quiet. Momma’s still.

“Momma?”

I touch her. She col’.

“Oh, Momma, no!”

40 thoughts on “What Pegman Saw – Behind the Scenes

  1. The voice in this sings. And my heart breaks for this poor woman! So much to do, so few wants, counterbalanced by disappointement and then her momma dies. Thank goodness for Clive. In my opinion, this is one of your best, Penny! Plus the title is spot-on. Kudos!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Alicia
      Thank you for reading, and for your lovely comments. I’m so glad you liked the voice. I very seldom risk trying to write in dialect or heavy accent, and I had grave reservations this time – to the extent that I wrote a version with accent, and a version without, which showed me that without the accent the story didn’t work at all.
      Your comments have given me a real lift – thank you!
      With very best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Josh
      Thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, it’s sad.
      Mind you, I wonder who has, overall, the happier life; the main character or Miz Mitchell? I’d lay money that the main character would win hands down, because her life is led by love.
      With best wishes
      Penny

      Like

    • Dear Rochelle
      Thank you for reading and commenting. Thank you especially for confirming that the voice adds to the story; I felt really doubtful about whether I would be sufficiently close to the accent.
      Shalom
      Penny

      Like

    • Dear Dale
      Thank you for reading and commenting. I really struggled with the prompt. I’m probably odd, but I would be very unlikely to vacation on a tropical island – just not my scene.
      So I went for a walk, and then I remembered that of course there are many staff who take care of the vacationers. Aha! Being local, they’re the people with families, and long-term relationships – and therefore plenty of scope for drama. Problem solved!
      With very best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Kelvin
      And it’s my turn to blush! I’m delighted that the language drew you in, and that the lament at the end remained powerful even on repeated reading.
      Thank you for reading, and for such lovely comments!
      With best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Your poor narrator, giving so much and to lose her mother at the end … Heartbreaking Penny, but you told it so well. The voice really worked because it was so matter of fact – she accepts that’s the way things are and that’s that. Really strong story telling

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Lynn
      Thank you for reading and commenting. It was only as I read your comment that I realised that the MC is partly based on my Nannan. She was Welsh, matter-of-fact, tough as they come – and very loving. I imagined my MC as drawing her strength from the love she felt for those around her. She will grieve deeply for her Momma, but she’ll always be at heart a happy woman.
      With best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lovely, Penny, just lovely. Sounds like my own Nan – a London-Irish girl, tough enough to have been in service, worked rolling barrels in a brewery, survived a drunken husband and still adored us and we her. Showed her love through her cooking, bless her. Lovely memories Penny

        Liked by 1 person

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