“What Pegman saw” is a weekly challenge based on Google Streetview. This week’s prompt is the Palisade Rim/Ute Petroglyph trail in Colorado. This is the same story as I originally posted but with crucial details changed that will, I hope, change the balance of sympathy between the two characters.
A change of perspective
Alan blew smoke towards the end of the bed.
“Why do you always do that?” pouted Ruth. “I like to smell you, not cigarettes.”
Alan shrugged.
“Dunno. Habit? Anyway, it’s time we moved. We’re visiting the Ute petroglyphs today.”
He wanted a lie-in, but Ruth had been keen to see the rock paintings. He rolled out of bed.
Ruth parked at the trailhead and demanded water. She popped a couple of Tylenol. “Bloody period’s started,” she moaned.
“It won’t kill you. Let’s hit the trail!”
As they saw the view, Alan grinned. “Glad you came now?”
Ruth stumbled.
“Ow-ow-ow! Turned my ankle!”
Alan looked at her with concern; he knew she hated seeming weak. “Do you want to wait here, while I finish the hike?”
Ruth nodded.
Later she called his phone.
“The petroglyphs are fantastic! I’ll be a bit longer…”
“I’m going back to the car. Hurry – or you’re hitching!”
Autumn Leaves 
Let’s hope he took some good photographs – she’ll be kicking herself she missed seeing them. Lovely use of dialogue to portray character Penny
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Dear Lynn
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you liked the dialogue.
With best wishes
Penny
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My pleasure as always, Penny
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An adventurous story, Penny. These two seem to not get along yet they do. Together but apart. Supportive but selfish. An observation on many relationships today, maybe?
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Dear Kelvin
Thank you for reading and for your thoughtful comments. Most relationships start with passion, which drives a desperate desire to be with the other person. The desire is so great that the lovers feel, probably truthfully, that they would die for their partner – mostly because life without the beloved would seem insupportable. However, the lovers are often not very good at seeing and doing the little things that make a more selfless and enduring love, and they have to learn how to do this. Alan and Ruth are at that cusp between passion and love.
I’d be very interested if you would read and comment on my other Pegman story this week, “The end of an adventure”. It is exactly the same story, with the same dialogue, but slanted differently. I think it gives a different view of the two individuals, and I would be grateful for your opinion on that.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Of course, Penny. Would be my pleasure to read again and comment this time. 🙂
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Thank you so much, Kelvin!
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You rock, Penny! A masters’ course in tugging the reader’s sympathy via POV and judicious word choice.
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Dear Karen
What a lovely thing to say! Thank you so much. You have me smiling broadly!
I’m no master, but I hope that with continued effort I will become at least a skilled journeyman.
With very best wishes
Penny
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Penny, nice switch-up on this. You have managed to make Alan a little more sympathetic and understanding, although he’s still a bit of a cad for leaving her alone with a bum ankle.
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Dear Alicia,
Thank you for reading and commenting. Your comment is very helpful in understanding how a perceptive reader weighs up the emotions and insight displayed by Alan and Ruth.
With best wishes
Penny
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He’s still being a jerk!
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Dear Righteousbruin
Thank you for reading and commenting. Here’s a provocative thought for you. If you view it as a man’s responsibility to take care of his woman, then Alan’s being a jerk. But suppose you view women as being fully autonomous creatures, who are pretty good at looking after themselves, and perfectly capable of assessing whether or not they can cope with being left alone for a while? Under those circumstances, if Alan were to insist on ‘looking after’ Ruth, I’d say he was a patronising git, wouldn’t you? 😉
With best wishes
Penny
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There is that. I just put myself in that position, and I would have worked with my wife, to get her to safety, rather than just going off on my own.
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A good story. Sad for me that what stood out is the part about her period starting. That wretched occurrence ruined many events of my life. My periods were hellish. Fortunately, they are behind me now, at least for this life.
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Dear Cara
Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m so sorry to have reminded you of the suffering your periods gave you; that must have been horrible.
With best wishes
Penny
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Well O have to reread the other one, because I did not really recognize a big difference. He is a bit more sympathisch, because he thought that she never wants to be seen as a weak person. But at least I can not really feel myself as her or him, because the roles can easily changed (o.k not the period)… to leave the partner injured alone is bad…you would never do this To your partner…
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Dear anie
It depends entirely upon the injury, wouldn’t you say? You’d make a mutual decision based on the severity of the injury, wouldn’t you? A twisted ankle isn’t a bad injury requiring urgent treatment, but it’s painful enough that you don’t want to walk further than you need. Sitting for an hour or so is no big deal.
Unfortunately, 150 words isn’t enough to allow a careful discussion as to the severity of the injury!
Best wishes
Penny
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Of course it depends on the severity of the injury. Also on a lot of other things. This is why I wanted to hear the story from another view. It depends on the relationship of the couple…are they used to make lot of things each one by himself or do they most things together. Is the motivation to this visit so big, or are there alternatives to do together?…only the couple can judge if this story is something to have trouble or not.
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