Friday Fictioneers – Courtesy Car

Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story, based on a photoprompt, with a beginning, middle and end, in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and include the Photoprompt and Inlinkz (the blue frog) on your page. Link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!

FF - Courtesy Car 180124

PHOTO PROMPT © Sandra Crook

Courtesy Car

“When I get back from the garage you’ll tell me who your lover is, or I’ll kill you!” John yelled, as he slammed the door.

Panicking, Sue phoned Robert, owner of the garage. “Darling, he’s threatening to kill me!”

John drove up the motorway in a ‘courtesy’ car. It was filthy, and rattled.

“Courtesy car?” he exclaimed. “It’s the ’I don’t give a stuff’ car!”

No, it was worse than that. The ‘Blow you, go somewhere else’ car?

As the brakes failed, he had just time to realise it was the “I hate you and wish you were dead” car.

91 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Courtesy Car”

    • Dear Rochelle
      Thank you for reading and commenting. I made up the names for the car several years ago, when I was driving a ‘courtesy’ car along the motorway. It was filthy, noisy, the seat wouldn’t adjust and the clutch was dodgy. I drove extremely carefully…
      With best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Jen
      Thank you for reading and commenting. I feel sorry for John, too. And Sue. I don’t expect she meant for John to finish up dead. I blame Robert! Words are one thing; a dodgy car is quite another!
      With best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Keith
      Thank you for reading and commenting. It was a dodgy courtesy car that I once had that prompted the story – it was filthy, rattled noisily, the seat wouldn’t adjust and the clutch was failing. I drove it twenty miles – very, very carefully!
      With best wishes
      Penny

      Like

  20. Well, John shouldn’t have let his temper override his critical thinking – perhaps the dodgy courtesy car should have given him a clue? Like Rochelle, I loved the procession through the names. Great take Penny

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Laurie,
      Thank you for reading and commenting.
      Do you think things may have gone further than any of them originally intended? I’m not sure any of them had murder in mind; even Robert may just have intended to scare John. Who knows?
      With best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Poor John… Bad enough his wife was fooling around (and why did she, at that?) it had to be with the one who could more easily do him in!.
    Loved the names of the cars. I had the “Buck-and-Go-Car!”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Dale
      Thank you for reading and commenting. Perhaps John’s wife was having an affair because he didn’t bring her flowers any more? I like your ‘Buck-and-go-car’! Sounds like the car I learned to drive in. I could never understand why it didn’t buck for other people!
      With best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Alicia
      Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you liked that I focussed the story on the car. I like that you suggest that John isn’t happy by my take; it’s always fun when fictional characters take on a life of their own!
      With best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

  28. well I read your comment to Rochelle and laughed because that courtesy car you had sounds rough – and like how it led to a name…. everyday life is such fuel for writers!
    okay – so the first three lines of your fiction were in such sync with the dilapidated building – the threat – the word kill in all its harshness – the slam – and the gut knot that comes with words like “lover” – and even the words back and garage had that stronger tone (as opposed to softer words maybe – or is this way too much here.. lol)
    but those words matched what we feel when we see the bombed out part of the wall and the breakdown in the center.
    oh and back to the car thing –
    a courtesy car we had a few years back – was this old buick and seriously – we did not want to give it back (wel yes, we did – cos at the time we had a badass Volvo) but the Buick drove smooth and owned the road. who knew buick was so luxurious? we didn’t – and that was when the matthew mcconaughey Buick commercials were being made fun of

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Prior
      Thank you for reading my story and making such a detailed comment. It’s very helpful. You’re quite right that the tone of the piece was prompted by the dilapidated building. John and Sue’s marriage was breaking up like the building. The front of that building looked to have been destroyed violently, which put the idea of violence into my head. So you’re exactly right. I was choosing words that went with the emotions that the photograph evoked in me.
      I agree that life often gives writers fuel. Since writing full-time I’ve found that I notice things much more often, and more accurately, so writing is fuelling my life too.
      It was fun to hear about when you had a Buick as a courtesy car. I was interested that you described a Volvo as ‘badass’. Was it the T5 by any chance? Although most Volvos are reliable but dull, even bad girls called the T5 ‘badass’.
      With best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 2 people

      • hee hee laughing at the volvo T5 and bad girls comment –
        and mine (3 years) was the XC90 – make that the badass XC90
        and seriously Penny – it was the second car in lifetime that made my heart “skip a beat” and only about ten things in my life has done that – well sorta – you know what I mean – just grabs ya – and the second test drive led to an impulse buy that I still don’t regret – but still laughing at the reply to the volvo comment because you are so right – laughing still – to refer to a volvo like that is not the norm- and even in Breaking Bad – Gus drives a plain ol’ boxy Volvo station wagon with his calm and quiet wealth….
        they are safe and boxy –
        but I do think that in the early 2000’s Volvo models paved the way for many of the American SUVS – copycats!
        and another car side note -hope it is okay with such a nice car themed fiction –
        well I heard that in 2016 – for the first time ever – more volkswagons were sold than any other car – even more than their dear ol’ volvo – hm
        —
        and back to the fiction, best wishes to john and sue – ha
        and I liked how you noted that “writing fuels your life” –

        Liked by 1 person

    • Dear JJ
      Thank you for reading and commenting. I always want to do something a little different, so I look first at the subject of the picture, then at the emotions it evokes in me.
      I noticed the car and thought it would be a useful element to build the story around, as I already had the descriptions of courtesy cars written down. The shattered front of the building made me feel violence and despair, so I wanted the story to reflect those emotions. Hence – murder!
      With best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

      • a very dark story even though she was born out of love. The car mutated from a ‘courtesy’ car to a ‘wish you were dead car’. Violence and despair feelings are mean-spirited and powerful forces!

        Like

    • Dear Jan
      Thank you for reading and commenting. The car prompted me to remember some courtesy cars I’d driven, but I was also inspired by the building. The fact that it was still apparently functioning despite its poor repair made me think of a failing marriage. The extent and violence of the damage to the building prompted me to think of murder.
      With very best wishes
      Penny

      Like

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