Friday Fictioneers – Trapped!

Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (thank you, Rochelle!) hosts a flash fiction challenge, to write a complete story, based on a photoprompt, with a beginning, middle and end, in 100 words or less. Post it on your blog, and include the Photoprompt and Inlinkz (the blue frog) on your page. Link your story URL. Then the fun starts as you read other peoples’ stories and comment on them!

FF - Sunset - 171025

PHOTO PROMPT © Roger Bultot

Trapped!

Lee’s heart stammered and raced like the outboard motor of the dinghy carrying him to safety. The clean, dawn air was polluted by the stench of petrol and blood.

He’d almost given up. Donald had been late. Then the first greyness had lightened the eastern sky, and the man’s smirking face confronted him. The light had made it harder; it made it personal; but Lee had driven home the knife, twisting it savagely. Donald had struggled, retching out his life through clenched teeth.

There was a thud, and the boat stopped.

Hell! He was trapped by the falling tide!

55 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Trapped!

    • Dear Iain
      Thank you for reading and commenting.
      If I were Lee, I’d try and make it to shore, but I wouldn’t reckon the chances were good – that mud is sticky! And even then, his car’s on the other side of the estuary. I think he’ll be nicked.
      All the best
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

  1. AS others have said – a thriller! It’s like I’ve opened a novel part way through, the pages falling open at the thrilling denouement of a slow-build tussle between good and evil, though whether your MC is good or bad … Very tense, taut piece of writing

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Lynn
      Thank you for reading and commenting. It’s kind of you to say it’s thrilling. Of course, every reader can have their own back story. Mine is that Donald is blackmailing Lee, who decides to murder him. But it’s not cold-blooded; Lee has a real hatred of Donald, which is how he’s able to knife him so viciously even when he can see the man’s face.
      With best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

      • You sounds as if you know their history intimately – are these characters you’ve written about before, Penny? Wondering what Donald did you enrage Lee so much. Dread to think. It’s a great read 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Rochelle
      Thank you for reading and commenting. I’d say your summary of Lee’s position is about right. If he stays in the boat he’s almost certain to be caught, and if he climbs out there’s a good chance he’ll get stuck in the mud. And serve him right!
      Shalom
      Penny

      Like

    • Dear Sandra
      Thank you for reading and commenting. Well, I suppose he could try ‘What blood? Oh! This blood! I…er…killed a rabbit – well, several actually – well, I threw them out of the boat to…to…lighten the load…”
      No, maybe not!
      All the best
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Definitely different take–which I enjoyed. It’s hard to know if Donald had it coming to him, but most smirkers do. (What a judgment, right?) Getting stuck makes it sound like Lee really didn’t think this through or wasn’t an experienced boater.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I suppose it is justice, in a way. Lee is trapped because he committed the murder. He’s in a turmoil of anger and horror – frankly, I’d hate to feel what he’s going through – and that’s why he messes up the getaway. He’s an experienced boatman – he’d never make a mistake like that normally.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Dahlia
      Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you found the action thrilling. The photoprompt looked very like an estuary near where I live. I’ve always felt there was something sinister about some of the creeks there, so the story was a good chance to express some of that apprehension!
      With very best wishes
      Penny

      Liked by 1 person

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