Friday Fictioneers – Omission

Every week, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields sets a challenge, a photoprompt, for a piece of flash fiction that is no longer than 100 words. Everybody is invited to join in the fun! You can find this week’s challenge here Friday Fictioneers 14/07/17 .

FF - Omission 170713

Photoprompt © Janet Webb

Omission

It was full summer outside, with a clean, blue sky. The leaves of the plane tree mottled the sun’s light, filling the globe on the desk with a thousand pinpricks of brilliance.

Jennifer looked at the desk, the candlestick with its green and amethyst jewels, the reflected book-cover with its image of a naked form deep in slumber. She looked at him, snoring, unshaven. Drunk.

The door-latch clicked as she raised it, and her heart missed a beat. Even now, she was terrified he would wake up and beat her. But he slept on, pills and suicide note beside him.

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36 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – Omission

  1. This is very well written Penny. Loved the descriptions, the subtle way her abuse is brought out – one cannot help but empathize with her for taking this extreme step. Kudos. 🙂 I am a bit confused about the title though. Omission?

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  2. Thank you for your lovely comment, Dahlia. There are sins of commission, where you actively do something wrong, and there are sins of omission, where your inaction allows something wrong to happen. The title is suggesting that the abuser may have taken the pills himself, and Jennifer is only guilty of allowing him to die. But – it is only a suggestion; there are other interpretations! I’d love to hear what you and others think!

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    • I see it makes perfect sense now – thanks for taking time to explain. I didnt think the abuser would be the types to commit suicide…it is likely that she nudged him in the right direction 😉

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      • Ah, well, that’s an interesting point you raise. Abusers are often people who have themselves been abused. I could well imagine that some have very low self-esteem that could lead to suicide. Certainly, though, Jennifer might have nudged him that way.
        Thank you for raising the matter of the title. Discussions like this help the writer to see how other people have understood the characters.

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    • Thank you, Rochelle. Your good opinion matters a lot to me! Thank you for setting these weekly challenges; reading all the responses is helping me become a better writer (or at least to understand the ways in which I could improve!)
      All the best
      Penny

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    • Yes, that was very much the emotional impression that the photo left me. There were lots of distracting decorations – which were useful, but not central – and there was the emotional divide of darkness and light, inside and outside, freedom and captivity. I’m glad you liked it!

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    • Yes, abuse is terrible. I have a bit of a ‘thing’ about it. That’s not from personal suffering, but I’ve known two women in very abusive relationships, and it’s horrible. One of them, I’m glad to say, was very strong and managed to free herself and her children, and is now living happily several hundred miles away from where she’d been abused. Her escape was a true ‘resurrection’.

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      • That is terrible to hear but it sounds like a terrific outcome for one… I hope the other finds the strength and love and help she needs one day.
        A truly horrible situation.

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  3. Beginning with a look forward to the new day, but ending with a look back to the fear of the past. Even the death of her tormentor isn’t a complete release from the psychological oppression.

    Thank you, Penny.

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    • That’s an interesting take on the construction of the story that hadn’t occurred to me. You’re quite right in terms of the emotional impact. Thank you very much – it’s a most helpful insight!

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